The ‘Strong Woman’

February 11, 2012 in Bible,Blogging,Christian,Christian lifestyle,Christian values,Christianity,Discipleship,Femininity,Gender,Guest posters,Theology,Writing with 12 Comments

Today we have another guest post, on an area that’s come up a lot on the blog in recent times, the issue of gender, and particularly our perceptions of women. It’s by Jo Royal, an Assistant Pastor and blogger from Basingstoke. She has a lot to say on the issue, let us know what you think…

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She’s a very strong woman!’

Last week, this statement cropped up in three separate conversations regarding different women.  Strong women.  And each time, I cringed.

I used to be a ‘strong’ woman.

I lifted weights at the gym regularly, practiced Judo weekly, and had a pretty good success rate with arm wrestling.

There’s nothing wrong with being a strong woman.

But, this wasn’t what they meant, was it?

No, the focus of their strength had nothing to do with their muscles, but their character.

What is a strong character?

Character can be defined as ‘the stable and distinctive qualities built into an individual’s life which determine his or her response regardless of circumstances.‘

Therefore, a strong character can simply be defined as someone with the ability to respond with strength in all circumstances.  To remain constant and strong in a world crazed with uncertainty, inconsistency, and irrationality.

A strong character is needed if we are to effectively navigate life’s experiences.

If this is the understanding of a strong character, then why does the phrase so often get spat out with disdain and caution when specifically referring to women?

A strong woman?

The term ‘strong’ when referring to the character of a woman, often carries quite a distinct interpretation.

Bossy

Opinionated

Outspoken

Stubborn

But only of a woman.

Very rarely does the phrase get used when describing a man.  And if it does, then it is usually referred to as a positive character trait.

Is strength in a man a virtue, but strength in a woman a vice?

Is it good that a man displays strength, but a woman conceals it?

Is this what God ordained?  Did he create men to have strong character and women to be weak?  Can we read only of strong male characters in the Bible?

What of Ruth?  A woman of ‘chayil’ - (power, strength, resources, army, effective)

What of Deborah?  The prophetess and judge who had to know her own (or God’s) mind and speak it.

What of Mary?  Who chose to go against the cultural norms of the day, and engage in something she (rightly) saw as more important.

And what of Jael?  Who took matters into her own hands, confidently driving a tent peg through the head of an enemy.

And Biblical women weren’t strong?

Shouldn’t all Christians, whether male or female, aspire to have a strong character?  A character that allows them to follow the will of God, speak on his behalf, and love and forgive in a culture that exemplifies the opposite?

Shouldn’t all Christians, whether male or female, demonstrate a strength of character that comes from knowing who we were created to be?

Shouldn’t all Christians, whether male or female, be encouraged to speak up, and not shut up?

Shouldn’t all Christians, whether male or female, be encouraged to stand up for what is right

Shouldn’t a strong character in all Christians be celebrated and not shunned or frowned upon?

Yes, even when that strength is embodied in a woman.

And if the idea of this makes you feel uncomfortable, perhaps you ought to ask yourself why.

 

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Jo Royal is an Assistant Pastor in Basingstoke. Her life = Friends, Tea, Converse, Starbucks, Equality + JESUS! She blogs about the little things that happen that teach us a lesson :) at http://www.joroyal.com

About James Prescott: James Prescott is a writer & blogger who explores how we find divine hope in the messiness of live. He's a regular guest blogger & author of '5 Steps to Encouragement: The Secret to Transforming the World' Follow him at @JamesPrescott77

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  • http://twitter.com/Pneu_Woman RiaD

    Great post…. I am happy to own the title strong woman.  I earned it through many a trial of life.   It is His strength that has made me strong. 

    • http://twitter.com/JoRoyal Jo Royal

       Thanks :)   Great that you are happy to own ‘strong women’!  I am learning to embrace it with joy myself – although it is taking a while I have to be honest!

      • http://twitter.com/Pneu_Woman RiaD

        It took a long while for me Jo.  
        It has been hard work bringing 5 children up in the church, without a husband by  my side on a Sunday (or at other church events such as home group etc) for the past 18 years.   I spent many a teary Sunday with little ones, thinking was it all worth while. To drag them there, to only sit in a noisy creche.Thankfully God is bigger than all of that. I think the hardest thing has been, that I have always been in leadership in on way or another.  And often pioneering new ministries in churches.  Mum’s groups, kids clubs, women’s groups or leading home groups or teaching Sunday School.So have often had to relate to pastors/elderships/leadership.There has certainly been a barrier to push through, in terms of being a ‘lone’ woman.Especially in churches where husbands are seen as your covering.Both men and women can be skeptical of women alone in church, often doubting motives. So I probably answered that rather quickly and made it sound like it was all very easy to be a strong woman.  But it has been a long journey.  And one that has only in the past 2-3 years, become some what easier.This has been aided by the fact that I am part of a church that cultivates a culture of honour that is not conditional upon gender, race, gifting or socioeconomic factors.

        • Anonymous

          Ria, this is an incredible story. It’s clear that God is using you in powerful ways, and it really comes across how strong you are in God and I admire that so much – keep going! It’s an inspiration.

  • Anonymous

    This is a great post Jo, inspiring and challenging. Totally agree with what you say, great points. Thanks for guest posting, hope you can again! Blessings, JP.

  • Hannah

    Interesting thoughts :-) do you think this is something that is put ‘upon’ us as women or something that we have now embraced and put on ourselves? If so, how can we change our values so that a ‘strong woman’ comment no longer makes us cringe but makes us celebrate?

    • http://twitter.com/JoRoyal Jo Royal

       Hannah, I have been thinking about this a lot recently – and can totally see how as women we have embraced the (fear of?) being seen as a strong women.  I still find myself playing my opinions down, or apologising for the strength of them – which is absolutely ridiculous!  Only have myself to blame though, so need to get over the fear – and as you say – celebrate it instead!!  ‘Hi, I’m Jo, and I’m a strong woman!’ :)

      • Anonymous

        Speaking as a man, I know I have more respect for women who are willing to stand up and take the initiative, who aren’t afraid to be strong and independent, be themselves in a way – actually makes them more interesting, more attractive, in a positive way of course, both in terms of friendship and potential relationships as well.

        I want to encourage all women to not be afraid to stand up and be themselves, not to be afraid, to have courage and be strong. Have so much respect for you all. JP.

    • http://twitter.com/Pneu_Woman RiaD

      Hannha, I wonder if it is somewhat of a cultural thing here in England as well.  In Australia (where we moved here from), they are more likely to just call a spade a spade.  So if they thought you were opinionated, they would probably use that label rather than something that indirectly perhaps more politely implies it (like calling you a strong woman).   While that kind of culture can be blunt.  I personally prefer it, because at least you know where you stand with people.  

    • http://ontoberlin.blogspot.com/ Hannah

      Hannah – I think this is certainly true for many women. I know I have to fight the urge to roll my eyes when someone mentions how ‘opinionated’ or ‘outspoken’ I am or mentions my feminism, saying it in a not-exactly-positive way. It can come across as a bit snide and I do think it probably puts women off speaking out and makes them cringe because they think they’re being judged. One of the first things we need to do is tackle attitudes. When people make comments about ‘strong’ or ‘opinionated’ women as if it’s a negative trait, we should ask them why they’re not using this description in a positive way and try to engage them about it.

  • http://talkingchristian.blogspot.com/ Naomi

    Maybe I’m a little naive, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen being called or calling someone else a ‘strong’ women as anything other than a compliment!  Maybe because the circles in which the word is used are Church cirlces so we automatically interperet it as strength in God. 

    • http://twitter.com/JoRoyal Jo Royal

       Hey Naomi – that’s great if that’s your experience :)   Wonderful.  However, for me, it has been those from within church circles that have spoken of it negatively – therefore making it difficult to receive as a compliment.  Learning to interpret is as a compliment though – regardless of the tone used!  Thanks for commenting!