Why we Don’t Need to Set Goals for 2013 (set Values instead)

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I wrote in my last post about my lessons from 2012 I’ll be taking into 2013, and in the next few weeks I’ll be blogging about some of them in more detail. Beginning today  - with the importance of values over goals.

How often have you read about goal-setting?

It’s a phrase you hear more and more in today’s culture – especially during the New Year period. I’ve recently heard it several times from friends.

I’m sure ‘goal-setting’ works for some people. But for me, all it represents is another opportunity for disappointment. In the past I set goals with the best of intentions, and in the beginning been focussed on achieving them.

But then the romance fades. I get into the disillusionment phase. The goals seem ever larger and more difficult. I begin to realise they were impossible goals (even if they weren’t), and after some resistance (so I can say I did all I could), I give up.

People often say “I’m re-assessing my goals”. But all this phrase means is you’ve failed to achieve the goals you set before, and are lowering your expectations to ensure you meet them.

Which isn’t condusive to great work. And restricts our growth.

We are all capable of great work. All of us have it within us to achieve amazing things, to make a difference in the world.

We were created to be world-changers.

But goal-setting is pointless. All it results in is disappointment. We feel like failures and are liable to give up. No matter how much we achieve, we’ll feel like a failure.

So how can we approach this differently?

How about instead of goal-setting, we focus on value-setting. How about we clarify what we care about, what’s important to us, and make a decision to integrate these values into our regular pattern?

Values can cover a multitude of goals.

And we’re much less likely to feel like failures. (You can tweet that here)

For me, setting values looks a bit like this:

I have a strong value of investing in my writing gift, and stewarding it well. So I try to write and blog on a regular basis. It commits me to reading regularly, and to participate in communities or courses like Tribe Writers. It challenges me to put my work out publicly, and to ask others to guest post for them.

A commitment to the value of stewarding my writing gift has allowed me to grow as a writer, without the pressure goal setting brings. It allows me to be more relaxed about my growth as a writer, but also to take my responsibilities and commitments seriously.

So this year, instead of goal setting, do some value setting.

Sit down and figure out your key values and priorities. Then set out what it would look like realisitically to live those out on a regular basis – without setting specific targets or goals.

This year I’ve decided to make it a value to respect myself more, to take more care of my body, mind and soul. I’ve neglected to do this before and it’s caused me problems in all sorts of areas. But having this as a value means the following:

 

  1. I will feel a greater commitment to eat healthily, and exercise regularly – without the pressure of having to achieve specific targets.
  2. I will be committed to taking time to read, to feed my mind and get me thinking and engaging with the world, but no pressure to read every single day.
  3. It means a stronger commitment to praying and reading my Bible on a regular basis, without feeling guilty if I go a day or two without doing so.
  4. It will allow me to have days of proper rest, and holidays, without feeling guilty.

 

My challenge to you in 2013, is to stop setting goals. If you want to grow in a specific area or achieve something, don’t set a goal.

Instead, commit to a value allowing you to grow – but not putting undue pressure on you.

If you want to lose weight, commit to taking care of your body and respecting yourself more. If your desire is to grow in a specific gifting, commit to spending time investing in this gift on a regular basis, without setting specific targets.

Whatever area you wish to grow – and it can be more than one – find a value which covers it, and commit to living this value out. Making it part of your regular pattern.

You’ll find it much easier to live out. You’ll feel much less of a failure.

And you’re much more likely to achieve what you originally wanted to.

Indeed, you might find you achieve more than you ever thought possible.

 

Do you agree or disagree with me? Why?

Have you set goals before and failed to meet them?

What values do you want to live out in 2013? Share them in the comments below & be accountable!

 

 

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Related posts:

6 Lessons from 2012 (and why you need to share your story)

The Importance of Being Encouraging

This is My Truth

Hurt

Why Life is Like Writing

What Story are You Telling?

 

 

 

  • http://www.joanhallwrites.com/ Joan

    Well James, you know how much your last post resonated with me – so much that I changed my “goal setting” somewhat. I really like what you are saying here. In the past, I’ve said I’m setting goals rather than making resolutions. In a way, they are the same. But as you point out, if we set values, we are less likely to fail. And certainly we are less likely to feel guilty over a missed goal or unfulfilled one. 

    Many blessings to you for a joyous New Year!

    • http://www.jamesprescott.co.uk/ James Prescott

      Yep, thanks for sharing your encouragement here – really value your comments & feedback. Really encouraged to see how your life is being impacted, pray you continue to grow and be inspired! Have a blessed 2013!

  • http://twitter.com/CRoyseNiles Christine Niles

    This is really something to think about, James.  Thanks for sharing not only the abstract idea, but how you’re applying it to your life and how this thinking will help drive you forward and grow this year. 2013 is going to be great!

    • http://www.jamesprescott.co.uk/ James Prescott

      Thanks for your comment Christine – glad the post inspired you. Have a great 2013!

  • Joy Lenton

    Much to think about here, James. If we set values rather than goals, then they are likely to be more personal and based around those fundamental, core beliefs that actually interest, drive and motivate us. It may seem a subtle distinction, but it has the benefit of helping us to focus on specific areas of life and the things we are already committed to. Value setting will enable us to grow in ways that may take longer than a year to achieve (thus making them free of time dependency) and not necessarily be easily discernible.
    Yet, the affects could linger longer in our thoughts and actions because the drive to succeed/change is more likely to be led from within rather than set externally by the example or expectations of others.
    This is a thought-provoking post and you are showing us how to go about setting values by your personal examples here. 
    May you grow and achieve what your heart desires as you continue to apply these lessons to your life.
    Every blessing for 2013 – a great year to realise and release your potential! :)  

    • http://www.jamesprescott.co.uk/ James Prescott

      Joy,
      Thanks as ever for your wise and encouraging comments – really appreciate them. I agree values can be more personal, and that it helps us to focus. Also agree that values are for long-term, rather than short-term. Overall some great points, as ever. Thanks for your encouragement and ongoing support – I am certain 2013 is going to be an amazing year. Thanks again. :-)

  • Jim

    Hey James,

    I’ve enjoyed your two posts and they’ve certainly provoked some thinking. I like what you say about values and I can empathise with the feeling of failure at times. Failure isn’t necessarily all bad though – a few years ago, someone suggested that you can look at experiences in two ways… you either win or learn. As long as you learn from “failures” they can be very positive experiences.

    I’m with you on “values” – values underpin decisions, actions, thoughts, etc. Without values, I reckon that it’s pretty impossible to do anything meaningful or worthwhile – any activity without values could be considered random.

    I wouldn’t advocate “not setting goals” though. The combination of values and goals, I think, is a pretty powerful force and, as you say, “goal-setting does work for some people”. If the motive for only setting values is to avoid disappointment or feeling guilty (and I guess that I’m reading that in to your post) then I think that there is a greater risk of achieving less than you hope or expect. 

    Having said that, I’m really interested to hear how your year goes.

    Jim

    • http://www.jamesprescott.co.uk/ James Prescott

      Jim, 
      Thanks for your comment – you make some good points. I still would advocate setting targets of some kind – but within the context of living out particular values. For example, I have some things I want to achieve in my writing this year, but all of them are within the context of the value of stewarding my gift well and developing it, rather than the point in themselves. Goals for goals sake is a bad thing – our lives need to governed by values rather than goals I would say. Useful contribution to the discussion certainly, and really appreciate it. Will certainly keep people informed as to how the year goes – and its good to have accountabililty even through this medium. 

      Thanks again.

  • http://wonderingjourney.blogspot.com/ Kaye

    I like this idea and think I’m going to try
    it. Off the top of my head I think that I may choose these to value in
    the coming year: writing, wellness, wonder and “wideness” – as in
    generosity, grace, and graciousness.

    • http://www.jamesprescott.co.uk/ James Prescott

      Kaye, thanks for commenting. The values you’ve picked out seem excellent – would love to know how it goes trying to live those out over the year. Thank you and well done on having the courage both to set values and also to share them here – really appreciate it.   :-)

  • Katina Vaselopulos

    Very nice and wise post James!

    Yet, I have to say that we do need to set some goals in life.  We must however be prepared that they might not materialize for many reasons, not always having to do with us.

    Setting goals and working towards meeting them is exciting but if we fail, it is not good for self confidence. If we meet them, always other higher mountains rise in front of  us and we are on a constant sruggle.

    Deciding to take care of our physical as well as spiritual needs help us grow stronger and wiser to handle anything that needs to be handled. In addition, by following our heart, we are inspired not to chace after goals that are not meant to be but find the rigth help to accomplish what we are ment to accomplish.

    Does that make sense?

    • http://www.jamesprescott.co.uk/ James Prescott

      Thanks for commenting Katina, I think I get your point completely. One thing which has become clear to me in these discussions in the comments is there is a place for goals, but values must come above this. We need to decide our values before we can set any targets, and we must hold them loosely – less loosely than our values. Thanks for your comments, really appreciate them – makes total sense. Look forward to chatting again soon!

  • JanetHertogh

    Hi James! 
    My first visit and I really enjoyed seeing a new perspective on the New Year. I regularly set goals and resolutions every year and do have a short list of things I want to accomplish this year, however, I also have a commitment to value my relationship with the Lord. I believe that when I do that, value my relationship with God, then my family and my life will reflect the my growth and that I would shine just a little brighter for the Lord.
    Happy New Year! 
    Thank you for your blessing on this first day of 2013!

    • http://www.jamesprescott.co.uk/ James Prescott

      Welcome Janet! Great to have you here and hope you enjoyed your first visit and come back. Really glad my post was able to be a blessing to you, and hope to hear from you some more in future. Have a blessed year! 

  • http://www.sharonrosegibson.com/ Sharon Rose Gibson

    Great insight James. I like this approach and I think I will try it.  This appeals to the creative part of me.
    At the same time, I don’t think I’ll give up goal setting. I belong to a productivity group and I know I would not be where I am today if I didn’t push myself to achieve goals. But I do like this idea and I think I will incorporate it. I agree with you in that it could help in not feeling like a failure if you don’t achieve all your goals.
    I am also interested to see how this works for you as well. I wish you the best and thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

    • http://www.jamesprescott.co.uk/ James Prescott

      Thanks for responding Sharon – really appreciate it. Look forward to hearing how your value-setting goes. As I said there is a place for goal-setting, but I think values should dictate these, and goals shouldn’t be the point of our lives – and that’s the danger I was trying to point out.

      Let us know how the value-setting goes. Thanks for commenting again!

      • http://www.sharonrosegibson.com/ Sharon Rose Gibson

         Thanks for clarifying James. I totally agree with you and I’m going to take some time so more time to think about a value approach because of your emphasis. Thank you very much for writing this. I think this is going to give me more freedom and creativity in my goal setting this year.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Teresa-Parker/529530293 Teresa Parker

    There have been times that I have set goals without having a firm value in place. For instance losing weight because someone else wants you to is not a value that will garner lasting results. However, the value of being healthy and alive and able to do the work God wants me to do is a lasting value for me. It has motivated me to exercise and eat healthy and lose weight.

    Putting actions in place to be healthy is a little different than setting goals. For instance I exercise everyday for an hour. I don’t do it because it’s a goal, I do it because it’s an action I take based on my values. It is now a habit I’ve adopted, a habit based on my value of healthy living. 

    I’d love to hear you talk more about what a value really is and how to determine your values. Some people say certain things are values in their lives but if their actions don’t show their values, are those really their values?

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