I don’t generally write on singleness, because I don’t see it as a label and my value isn’t tied into my marital status. I’ve been single the majority of my life. Much of the time I’ve been an unhappy single. Not no much anymore (though I have my moments).

How and why did this change? When I changed my perspective on marriage and relationships. For years I held the same view as I believe many in our culture – and in church – have of singleness and marriage:

Simply this:

Singleness is the waiting room.

Marriage is where the journey (more…)

Barack Obama this week spoke publicly on the subject same-sex marriage. He made clear his endorsement of same-sex marriage and championed the push to make it legal.

It’s a big issue being discussed in popular culture and the church right now.Different people both in and outside the church are taking stands on opposing sides – and there are some very cruel and unloving words being said by some, on both sides.

The thing is, all of this discussion on the rights and wrongs of same-sex marriage completely misses the point.

It’s not the right discussion to be having in the first place.

There’s a much bigger and more significant discussion we should be engaged with. One that goes to the root of the issue.

A discussion on what marriage is. (more…)

I’ve been overwhelmed in the last couple of weeks by the response to my both the first and second posts in this series on abstinence. What often happens when you write is God takes an issue you’re passionate about and care deeply for, and inspires you to write something. But what you’re not prepared for is how others will respond. I have to confess a feeling of risk when first posting the initial blog post, and wasn’t too sure how people would react, given the nature of the topic.

However, the response to both was amazing.

I received questions, heard some great points made on either side, from all sorts of sources too. Posted to me on Facebook, via Twitter, as well of course some great comments in direct response to the posts themselves. That’s been brilliant because one thing I love is a good discussion.

I genuinely feel that healthy discussion, showing love, respect and grace, whatever your opinion, is actually a very positive and constructive thing, whether you ultimately agree or disagree.

So thank you to all those who’ve contributed.

This third part of the series is really about drawing it all together and possibly answering some of the questions people who’ve either commented directly or replied to the post on social networking have put forward.

The first thing I want to say is to be totally honest. I am tempted in this area. (more…)

I’ve been overwhelmed with the response to last weeks first part of this abstinence series. It’s such an important subject and I firmly believe that it’s important we discuss these things. Last week I talked about the concept and importance of abstinence before marriage and it’s Biblical basis.

In part two today I wanted to focus on the reality, rather than simply the ideal. I didn’t and don’t want to present abstinence before marriage as some kind of guarantee of success in marriage.

However much I’d like to, the reality is that it doesn’t always turn out that way. I know Christians who have been abstinent before marriage but the marriage still hasn’t worked out. Others have been abused sexually before marriage.

We live in a less than perfect world and, as all of us know, it often doesn’t work out how we plan. (more…)

Sex. So often it’s a taboo subject for Christians. I know I’ve never really written on the subject before. As a 30-something single Christian, who has been a Christian and believed in abstinence before marriage my entire life, I don’t exactly have practical experience.

However, recently I read a Gallup survey, done for the prominent Christian magazine ‘Relevant’. It’s results showed 80 per cent – yes, you read it right – of unmarried Christians in the US between the ages of 19-29 are having sex. That despite over 70 per cent saying they thought sex before marriage was wrong.

I have to confess, reading that stat did sadden me. I’ve been a Christian pretty much my entire life and I’ve never seen stats which showed such a large proportion of Christians having pre-marital sex. The statistic alone, for me, demanded a response and a re-examination of the topic.

(more…)