I have a confession to make. I am screwed up. I have bad habits which I’m ashamed of. I’ve made mistakes and still do. I can get annoyed at little things. I’ve been in a broken home and lost a parent young. I’ve seen alcoholism at first hand. I lack confidence and occasionally self-esteem. I can be lazy, make excuses and procrastinate.

In other words, I’m a mess.

I don’t have it all together.

My life isn’t perfect.

I don’t have all the answers.

However, I get encouragement from others about the kind of person they see. A wise, intelligent, insightful person with (more…)

Today I’m delighted to welcome Tanya Marlow as guest poster on the blog. Tanya writes at Thorns and Gold, and I’ve gotten to know her through twitter as well as her blog.

Tanya always writes with such honesty and grace about her faith and struggle living with a chronic illness. It’s an honour to have Tanya posting here today and I’m certain you’re going to learn a lot from her: 

It is always easier to tear down than to build up.

I watch my little boy playing with his Lego.

“And then this goes on top of here,” he explains, “and this one, and this one.”

He carefully selects each brick: red on top of blue, two to match the other side, a bridge over the pillars – no, not a bridge- he’s changed his mind – a bright tower. Here a door, there a window; he creates his world with such care, and I pour over (more…)

Last weekend I blogged about how we need to feel the absence of God in order to have intimacy with God. It’s a major part of my journey right now – and today I want to take this discussion further.

I’ve been going through a season of doubt in my faith. Asking questions which have taken me to the very heart of my faith. But in many ways I felt closer to God then than I have done when things were good. When faith was certain.

It’s strange, but in the moment of doubt and despair I’ve actually felt an intimacy with God I don’t feel in the good times.

I have always suspected doubt is good for our relationship with God. Now, I’m even more certain.

To have an intimate relationship with the divine, we need doubt. We can’t live (more…)

Today is Holy Saturday. This day, in the Easter story, is a day when Jesus is dead. Gone. Absent. If people are sick, there’s no one to heal them. If people want words of wisdom or insight, He’s not there.

He’s dead. In the tomb.

Yesterday and today I’ve read a lot of tweets and Facebook updates, talking about how difficult Good Friday was…

…but we must remember Sunday.

How it’s all going to be okay because Jesus rises again.

We don’t have to get depressed about His death, because we know it’s all okay in the end.

Now there might be some truth in this. Jesus does rise again. Which is awesome.

But can we wait till tomorrow to remember it?

All this triumphalism disappoints me. It hurts. Because the truth is, things don’t always (more…)

For the last two weeks I’ve participated in Lisa-Jo Baker’s “Five-Minute Friday”. The concept is simply writing for 5 minutes, straight from the heart, on a given subject – and then sharing it.

No edits, no marinading or reflecting – just write and share.

Anyhow, here’s today’s “5 Minute Friday” – the theme, appropriately for Good Friday, is “Broken”.

Here goes…

The myth perpetuated throughout our culture is some people have it all together – the successful, rich, good-looking – and some don’t. And this is how it is. Allegedly.

Except it’s not true.

All of us are broken.

Every. Single. One of us.

We’re all messed up. We’ve all made mistakes.

We all have deep hurts, fears and insecurities buried (more…)

Hi there. I’ve not written to you much. We normally do this verbally. But anyway, I have some thoughts to share with you.

I know I’ve not been the perfect disciple. My whole life I’ve attended church, so much so I don’t know a life without it. But both of us know I’m nowhere near perfect. You see my bad habits, the bitter, under-my-breath prayers cursing you, even saying I hate you.

Sometimes I wonder how authentic my faith in you is. I wonder how much I believe in you because simply I’m afraid of the alternative – rather than simply because you’re true.

You see, I can’t bear the thought of a world without you. This place is so dark and messed up. I live in a system which lives to make money, to sell products I don’t need. And I am so much as part of this, almost to the degree where there is no difference.

Is this the radical faith you spoke about?

Is this the counter-cultural life you call me to?

It certainly doesn’t seem like it.

But a world without you? You not being real? I can’t imagine.

What would it be like?

There would still be (more…)

Last week I participated in Lisa-Jo Baker’s “Five-Minute Friday” for the first time. Basically, the concept is simply writing for 5 minutes, straight from the heart, on a given subject – and then sharing it. No edits, no marinading – just write and share.

Yesterday you might remember I shared a post about writing which I wrote on the day (in a bit more than 5 minutes). And this the first time I’ve blogged on successive days. So I’m doing a bit of this quick writing and sharing recently.

Although I know it’s been good for my writing, don’t worry, there’ll be some more of my regular-type posts again soon.

Anyhow, here’s today’s “5 Minute Friday” – the theme is “Remember”. Here goes….

Memories shape us. They have tremendous power. Why is it though, it’s always the painful memories which seem to have the biggest hold on us? No matter how much joy we’ve had, it’s the painful memories which seem to meld themselves to our souls the most.

I was walking down the street recently, and having a bad time of it personally. Memories of my past had all been brought to the surface again -  bullying, broken home, rejection, sick mother, losing a parent young…feeling like God was picking on me. It was messing with my head and my heart. I was pretty down.

But then, out the blue, it dawned on me

I’m still (more…)

I don’t normally write posts and post them on the same day. I usually take time to edit and refine them, to allow the message to marinade in my heart, before finally sharing it. As a writer who is growing in his gift, it’s a good discipline to learn.

But occasionally you need to take a risk. You need to go out of your comfort zone.

And you just have something on your heart to share which you know needs to get out.

As it is.

Raw and naked for the world to see.

I would think of it as is kind of a ’5 minute Friday’ of my own, on a Thursday, unprompted, unedited, on a theme which has come straight from the heart. It’s even in a different font, because it’s come straight from Evernote & I’m not quite technically savvy enough to change it. That’s how raw it is.

Seriously though, I’d recommend occasional spontaneous writing and sharing to anyone, especially those passionate about writing & creativity. It will unlock thoughts, feelings and questions you never knew existed.

Anyhow, here we go with mine….

 
I want to write words whose power goes beyond words.

I want to write words which open our imaginations to endless possibilties, words which point to infinity, which open our souls to the reality that nothing we can ever describe, experience or imagine can ever truly capture, contain, know, or aptly describe the wonder, love, grace, nature and awesomeness of God, or who He is.

In one way words are very limiting, but if we use them well, they can be liberating.

Words must always be the beginning, never the (more…)

Today I’m doing a little experiment. I’m taking part in a little event called ’5 Minute Friday’. Each week a bunch of bloggers are challenged to write for just 5 minutes on a subject, and then post it. As it is. With no time to edit or correct at all. It’s all linked up to Lisa-Jo Baker’s blog where you can find more info. So today, I’m taking my first tentative step on this journey – on the theme of Rest. Let me know what you think!

On the weekend of my birthday this year, I felt I needed a rest. I’d just launched a book and done a lot of writing and promotional work, and was absolutely exhausted. I wanted to take some time off writing and social media, and just chill out and recharge. But nevertheless, I felt guilty about it.

Like somehow the world would end if I didn’t rest.

Now I like rest. No doubt about it. Rest can be awesome, relaxing and a lot of fun. But in a busy world, where a common phrase is “I’m just too busy”, it’s easy to feel guilty about rest. I did then, and we all do at times.

Why? Well, because (more…)

One of my my all-time top films is ‘Shadowlands’, adapted from the play by William Nicholson. It’s based on the true story of one of my favourite authors, C.S.Lewis. It tells the story of how he talked about suffering as God’s “megaphone to rouse a deaf world” and then experienced this for himself when his wife suffered and died from cancer.

But there is an interesting quote about prayer in the film. It comes from a part of the play when Joy is in brief remission, and the University priest says to Lewis how hard he’s been praying, and God is answering his prayers. But Lewis responds:

“That’s not why I pray. 

I pray because I can’t help myself. 

I pray because I’m helpless. 

I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. 

It doesn’t change God- it changes me.” – Shadowlands (William Nicholson)

This woke me up to one simple truth.

God doesn’t need us to (more…)