Rob Bell tells a story in his new book about how when he first became a pastor, a member of his church came up to him after a service said to him ‘If you want to see real church, go to an AA meeting’. So he went, and when it came to his turn, just said ‘pass’.

He said after a while he began to realise something.

It was a “bullshit free zone” (his phrasing).

No hiding. No being polite in front of people. No disguising your weaknesses. No protecting yourself.

Just owning who you really are. Being vulnerable. Making yourself naked before others. Admitting your dark side. No hiding.

As I began to reflect on this I realised this would be a great model for church.

We’ve all experienced or heard about churches where secrets are kept. Where people hide their weaknesses. Where fear of being exposed governs behaviour. It happens all too often in the modern church.

But this isn’t church. It’s a (more…)

On Monday I was at Union Chapel in London, to hear Rob Bell (left) talk about his new book “What we talk about when we talk about God” (which, by the way, is awesome), and do a question and answer session.

As ever, Bell was top class, proving himself again as an exceptional speaker and communicator, and his message really resonated with me.

But one other element struck me whilst listening to him speak.

The energy he had sharing his message. The infectious enthusiasm for the topic. The heart behind his talk. As he drew towards the end, he was moved almost to tears sharing his heart with us.

The water welling up in his eyes crystallised just how much he cared about his message. How what he was sharing was not simply a speech prepared for an audience, as much as it was an outpouring of his heart.

You got the impression this was man who has no care (more…)

I have a confession to make. I am screwed up. I have bad habits which I’m ashamed of. I’ve made mistakes and still do. I can get annoyed at little things. I’ve been in a broken home and lost a parent young. I’ve seen alcoholism at first hand. I lack confidence and occasionally self-esteem. I can be lazy, make excuses and procrastinate.

In other words, I’m a mess.

I don’t have it all together.

My life isn’t perfect.

I don’t have all the answers.

However, I get encouragement from others about the kind of person they see. A wise, intelligent, insightful person with (more…)

Today I’m delighted to welcome Tanya Marlow as guest poster on the blog. Tanya writes at Thorns and Gold, and I’ve gotten to know her through twitter as well as her blog.

Tanya always writes with such honesty and grace about her faith and struggle living with a chronic illness. It’s an honour to have Tanya posting here today and I’m certain you’re going to learn a lot from her: 

It is always easier to tear down than to build up.

I watch my little boy playing with his Lego.

“And then this goes on top of here,” he explains, “and this one, and this one.”

He carefully selects each brick: red on top of blue, two to match the other side, a bridge over the pillars – no, not a bridge- he’s changed his mind – a bright tower. Here a door, there a window; he creates his world with such care, and I pour over (more…)

For the last three weeks now I’ve participated in Lisa-Jo Baker’s “Five-Minute Friday”. The concept is simply writing for 5 minutes, straight from the heart, on a given subject – and then sharing it.

No edits, no marinading or reflecting – just write and share

So, here’s today’s “5 Minute Friday” – the theme is “After”.

After.

We don’t often talk about after.

We build up our desires don’t we?

The job. The husband or wife. The career. The book contract. Whatever it is we desire most, we have a habit of building it up. Placing impossible expectations on it.

And then we get it.

So what then?

What happens after? (more…)

Last weekend I blogged about how we need to feel the absence of God in order to have intimacy with God. It’s a major part of my journey right now – and today I want to take this discussion further.

I’ve been going through a season of doubt in my faith. Asking questions which have taken me to the very heart of my faith. But in many ways I felt closer to God then than I have done when things were good. When faith was certain.

It’s strange, but in the moment of doubt and despair I’ve actually felt an intimacy with God I don’t feel in the good times.

I have always suspected doubt is good for our relationship with God. Now, I’m even more certain.

To have an intimate relationship with the divine, we need doubt. We can’t live (more…)

Today is Holy Saturday. This day, in the Easter story, is a day when Jesus is dead. Gone. Absent. If people are sick, there’s no one to heal them. If people want words of wisdom or insight, He’s not there.

He’s dead. In the tomb.

Yesterday and today I’ve read a lot of tweets and Facebook updates, talking about how difficult Good Friday was…

…but we must remember Sunday.

How it’s all going to be okay because Jesus rises again.

We don’t have to get depressed about His death, because we know it’s all okay in the end.

Now there might be some truth in this. Jesus does rise again. Which is awesome.

But can we wait till tomorrow to remember it?

All this triumphalism disappoints me. It hurts. Because the truth is, things don’t always (more…)

For the last two weeks I’ve participated in Lisa-Jo Baker’s “Five-Minute Friday”. The concept is simply writing for 5 minutes, straight from the heart, on a given subject – and then sharing it.

No edits, no marinading or reflecting – just write and share.

Anyhow, here’s today’s “5 Minute Friday” – the theme, appropriately for Good Friday, is “Broken”.

Here goes…

The myth perpetuated throughout our culture is some people have it all together – the successful, rich, good-looking – and some don’t. And this is how it is. Allegedly.

Except it’s not true.

All of us are broken.

Every. Single. One of us.

We’re all messed up. We’ve all made mistakes.

We all have deep hurts, fears and insecurities buried (more…)

Hi there. I’ve not written to you much. We normally do this verbally. But anyway, I have some thoughts to share with you.

I know I’ve not been the perfect disciple. My whole life I’ve attended church, so much so I don’t know a life without it. But both of us know I’m nowhere near perfect. You see my bad habits, the bitter, under-my-breath prayers cursing you, even saying I hate you.

Sometimes I wonder how authentic my faith in you is. I wonder how much I believe in you because simply I’m afraid of the alternative – rather than simply because you’re true.

You see, I can’t bear the thought of a world without you. This place is so dark and messed up. I live in a system which lives to make money, to sell products I don’t need. And I am so much as part of this, almost to the degree where there is no difference.

Is this the radical faith you spoke about?

Is this the counter-cultural life you call me to?

It certainly doesn’t seem like it.

But a world without you? You not being real? I can’t imagine.

What would it be like?

There would still be (more…)

Last week I participated in Lisa-Jo Baker’s “Five-Minute Friday” for the first time. Basically, the concept is simply writing for 5 minutes, straight from the heart, on a given subject – and then sharing it. No edits, no marinading – just write and share.

Yesterday you might remember I shared a post about writing which I wrote on the day (in a bit more than 5 minutes). And this the first time I’ve blogged on successive days. So I’m doing a bit of this quick writing and sharing recently.

Although I know it’s been good for my writing, don’t worry, there’ll be some more of my regular-type posts again soon.

Anyhow, here’s today’s “5 Minute Friday” – the theme is “Remember”. Here goes….

Memories shape us. They have tremendous power. Why is it though, it’s always the painful memories which seem to have the biggest hold on us? No matter how much joy we’ve had, it’s the painful memories which seem to meld themselves to our souls the most.

I was walking down the street recently, and having a bad time of it personally. Memories of my past had all been brought to the surface again -  bullying, broken home, rejection, sick mother, losing a parent young…feeling like God was picking on me. It was messing with my head and my heart. I was pretty down.

But then, out the blue, it dawned on me

I’m still (more…)