Rob Bell tells a story in his new book about how when he first became a pastor, a member of his church came up to him after a service said to him ‘If you want to see real church, go to an AA meeting’. So he went, and when it came to his turn, just said ‘pass’.

He said after a while he began to realise something.

It was a “bullshit free zone” (his phrasing).

No hiding. No being polite in front of people. No disguising your weaknesses. No protecting yourself.

Just owning who you really are. Being vulnerable. Making yourself naked before others. Admitting your dark side. No hiding.

As I began to reflect on this I realised this would be a great model for church.

We’ve all experienced or heard about churches where secrets are kept. Where people hide their weaknesses. Where fear of being exposed governs behaviour. It happens all too often in the modern church.

But this isn’t church. It’s a (more…)

Last weekend I blogged about how we need to feel the absence of God in order to have intimacy with God. It’s a major part of my journey right now – and today I want to take this discussion further.

I’ve been going through a season of doubt in my faith. Asking questions which have taken me to the very heart of my faith. But in many ways I felt closer to God then than I have done when things were good. When faith was certain.

It’s strange, but in the moment of doubt and despair I’ve actually felt an intimacy with God I don’t feel in the good times.

I have always suspected doubt is good for our relationship with God. Now, I’m even more certain.

To have an intimate relationship with the divine, we need doubt. We can’t live (more…)

Hi there. I’ve not written to you much. We normally do this verbally. But anyway, I have some thoughts to share with you.

I know I’ve not been the perfect disciple. My whole life I’ve attended church, so much so I don’t know a life without it. But both of us know I’m nowhere near perfect. You see my bad habits, the bitter, under-my-breath prayers cursing you, even saying I hate you.

Sometimes I wonder how authentic my faith in you is. I wonder how much I believe in you because simply I’m afraid of the alternative – rather than simply because you’re true.

You see, I can’t bear the thought of a world without you. This place is so dark and messed up. I live in a system which lives to make money, to sell products I don’t need. And I am so much as part of this, almost to the degree where there is no difference.

Is this the radical faith you spoke about?

Is this the counter-cultural life you call me to?

It certainly doesn’t seem like it.

But a world without you? You not being real? I can’t imagine.

What would it be like?

There would still be (more…)

One of my my all-time top films is ‘Shadowlands’, adapted from the play by William Nicholson. It’s based on the true story of one of my favourite authors, C.S.Lewis. It tells the story of how he talked about suffering as God’s “megaphone to rouse a deaf world” and then experienced this for himself when his wife suffered and died from cancer.

But there is an interesting quote about prayer in the film. It comes from a part of the play when Joy is in brief remission, and the University priest says to Lewis how hard he’s been praying, and God is answering his prayers. But Lewis responds:

“That’s not why I pray. 

I pray because I can’t help myself. 

I pray because I’m helpless. 

I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. 

It doesn’t change God- it changes me.” – Shadowlands (William Nicholson)

This woke me up to one simple truth.

God doesn’t need us to (more…)

As you may have noticed, it’s nearly Christmas. We are all out there, buying presents for one another. Getting excited by the upcoming festivities. Many of us are full of joy at the anticipation of the celebration of Jesus coming.

I spoke to my sister recently about presents, discussing what each of us wanted for Christmas and our plans for the day. She mentioned to me how excited I got about presents, and how in the past – once in particular, when we didn’t open presents till 9pm (yes, really) – I have moaned about when we are going to open presents.

Initially I dismissed it and smiled. But as I reflected on the comment the smile faded.

I looked at myself, and realised I took more pleasure out of receiving than giving.

And I felt a deep sense of (more…)

I don’t generally write on singleness, because I don’t see it as a label and my value isn’t tied into my marital status. I’ve been single the majority of my life. Much of the time I’ve been an unhappy single. Not no much anymore (though I have my moments).

How and why did this change? When I changed my perspective on marriage and relationships. For years I held the same view as I believe many in our culture – and in church – have of singleness and marriage:

Simply this:

Singleness is the waiting room.

Marriage is where the journey (more…)

I recently noticed something about my life. Most of the stories I’m telling, all the big, significant moments in my life that impacted me the most.

They’re in the past. They aren’t in the present.

Bullying at school. Growing up in a broken home. My Mum’s death. Even, to a degree, the transformation and healing that has come in the last few years at my current church.

All these stories have one thing in common. They are largely past tense.

Obviously they still have an impact on me now, still shape me  - and there are still lessons to be learned from them. I can still use the experiences to serve others. They aren’t totally invalidated whatsoever, and never will be.

But truth is, I’m beginning to get tired telling only those stories.

You see, all of our lives are stories. Every part of our life is a chapter of a story. (you can tweet that here)

But whilst some are great stories, others aren’t. They need (more…)

I have an admission to make. I’m a hypocrite.

You know the old saying ‘Christians are hypocrites’? It’s absolutely true. (tweet that here)

This fact doesn’t make the truth of Christianity any less true or important. The way and values of Jesus are still true, no matter how badly His followers embody them.

But the fact is a lot, in fact, the majority of Christians are hypocrites. Including me.

Here’s some proof:  (more…)

Ever heard the phrase ‘God-shaped hole’? You ever been told you have a ‘God shaped hole’ in your life which only God can fill, and which you fill with other things?

Of course that sounds great doesn’t it? It sounds comforting and logical.

But it’s a lie.

We don’t have a God-shaped hole.(Tweet that here)

First off, the term implies there are other parts of us that either are already complete in God – or worse, don’t need God.

How much of what we believe is simply about lacking something and trying to fill that lack? (more…)

I’ve heard many people talk about ‘calling’, ‘mission’ and ‘purpose’. It’s becoming almost part of our DNA as Christians now to have a ‘calling’.

One of the standard questions Christians eventually ask when they get to know one another is what that person feels ‘called’ to do. Come on, we’ve all heard it haven’t we – we’ve probably asked it ourselves, perfectly legitimately.

But calling has been undersold. It’s much more – and different – than we have been led to believe.

Calling is not just supernatural. It’s an evolutionary process, which goes on through our entire lives.(Tweet this here)

Last year (more…)