Hi there. I’ve not written to you much. We normally do this verbally. But anyway, I have some thoughts to share with you.
I know I’ve not been the perfect disciple. My whole life I’ve attended church, so much so I don’t know a life without it. But both of us know I’m nowhere near perfect. You see my bad habits, the bitter, under-my-breath prayers cursing you, even saying I hate you.
Sometimes I wonder how authentic my faith in you is. I wonder how much I believe in you because simply I’m afraid of the alternative – rather than simply because you’re true.
You see, I can’t bear the thought of a world without you. This place is so dark and messed up. I live in a system which lives to make money, to sell products I don’t need. And I am so much as part of this, almost to the degree where there is no difference.
Is this the radical faith you spoke about?
Is this the counter-cultural life you call me to?
It certainly doesn’t seem like it.
But a world without you? You not being real? I can’t imagine.
What would it be like?
There would still be (more…)