I have been in big discussions in the last few days – on social networking sites, ironically enough – concerning the truth and reality of relationships established and sustained through social networking. Statistics on the nature of human relationships and communication – saying that most communication is non-verbal, for example, and allegations that these relationships are somehow superficial, have been made in what has been a healthy, friendly discussion.

I have no problem with people disagreeing with me in this issue, healthy discussion can and should involve those who disagree, respecting one another’s opinions whilst engaging fully with the issue. Displaying love for one another in a Christ-like way, yet still confronting the issues head on – and it should be this way with all discussions which take place anywhere – in the digital realm and in the physical realm.

Yet I have also seen in the last week people I respect being involved in discussions on other issues, discussions which I have contributed too, but where the discussion has resulted in people I care about being upset, uncomfortable and hurt. The tone at times has been cruel and hurtful, people caring so much about being right and ‘winning’ the argument, that the core values of love and respect have been forgotten.

I have to say, being honest, seeing people I considered friends upset and offended in this way actually made me pretty angry. Put it this way, I wasn’t feeling too loving or respectful to the people that had treated them that way. (more…)

Realm: a field or domain of activity or interest (Oxford Dictionary)

Realm is a descriptive word usually associated with Kings of Queens, or sometimes Presidents. Those of us that live in the British Commonwealth, formerly the British Empire, are with under the ‘realm’ of the Queen, our head of state. Historically, realms are defined politically – but there is one realm in particular which now exists on a global scale that the majority of people on this planet, almost 100% of the population of the Western world most likely, have access to, is the digital realm. The realm of the internet.

Vicky Beeching posted an excellent blog post today on the issue of how real this realm is, I read it with a twinge of irony, as I’d written this post a few weeks back and had been pondering when to post it – and given Vicky has started this discussion now seemed an appropriate time.

I want to examine the issue of the reality of the digital realm  - but I want to go further, and discuss how we find a healthy balance in our relationships in both the physical and digital realms, without making it an idol and letting it take the place of God – which, we have to acknowledge, is a big temptation, in the age of smartphones, i-pads and laptops, a time where we’re constantly online. (more…)

There’s been a lot of debate and discussion on the role of women on the Twitter/blogosphere recently, most of it healthy. All the time as I have been reading – and there have been excellent posts in the last week by both Vicky Beeching and Anna Blanch on this subject, amongst others, and indeed I myself posted on the Biblical role of women earlier in the week.

But to me there was something missing.

I felt a man’s perspective on gender issues was just not there. You see, I think we should all absolutely be championing women in leadership, and that the Bible is pro-women, and it’s absolutely right that women find their voice. I made that clear in my post earlier this week, with some theological background.

I just know, from my own experience as a man, that one danger of going to far with feminism can be that men no longer know what it is to be a man. They grow up without a clear definition of masculinity. We are told to ‘get in touch with our feminine side’, and then criticised for not being ‘man’ enough, all the time trying to be men and be positive about masculinity, without being anti-women or sexist in any way.

I think this is a serious problem, especially in church where people have different perceptions of the role of both men and women. I’m an egalitarian, I believe the question isn’t gender when it comes to leadership and teaching, it’s about character, gifting and calling. If you have those, then your gender, although part of who you are, is not relevant.

Your gender should never preclude you from any role.  (more…)

There was a long and in depth discussion on Twitter this week concerning the role of women, and whether they should be teaching or leading in church. I did add my contribution to it, but seeing how some women – many of whom I know and are gifted leaders – being treated in a way which I found hurtful, and given the importance of the topic, I felt it important that I put something out there about where I’m coming from and my thoughts and reflections on this topic.

First, the elephant in the room. Yes, I’m a man talking about women. So, my view or experience may be limited in some ways, but I’m going to share what I know.

I am thankful to my pastor Jason who did a great talk on this which has helped me in my preparation, and want to acknowledge that here. But this is an issue which I care about deeply. The attitude of some male leaders out there and how they have talked about and treated women, and the mistreatment of women even in attitude and tone, has upset me I’ll be brutally honest.

One of my biggest passions is seeing all people, men and women, fulfill their divine calling in God, and be free to become the people they were created to be. When women are limited, criticised, put down or stopped from doing this because of what I consider to be bad theology, that upsets me.

So what I’m going to do is outline briefly the main perspectives on this issue, look at a couple of Bible passages relating to this and try to outline them and what their real meaning is, and then offer some thoughts and reflections on this.

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Earlier this week I posted a short blog post promoting a new book of Advent reflections I’ve contributed to. But even before beginning writing the blog, I felt an inner conflict. A conflict I’m sure many of the creatives reading – and many more of us – have experienced at some point or other.

A conflict between wanting to share something I’d helped create with people, in order to help bless them – because I genuinely believe the book can and will do that in so many ways – and my own pride and ego, which is desperately wanting people to read it and give me great responses to boost my confidence.

It’s a conflict between healthy ambition and selfish ambition.

A conflict between that part of me that wants to honour God with what I create and see it help others in their walk with Him, and my own ego which wants success for selfish reasons.

It’s also about my own insecurities – that I can’t quite believe that I have had even moderate success at something I love doing and might actually have a gift for, because some part of me just won’t accept that I can be successful, or that God might actually have made me for a purpose and that this might a pointer to what that might be.

Promoting something you’re a part of or have helped create feels a bit selfish, and not very Christian – and certainly, it’s very tempting, especially in the self-centered ‘i-culture’ we live in, to simply promote things for those reasons.

We all want to be loved, and something we often do is look for that in people, rather than simply embracing the unconditional love & grace of God, which doesn’t value us according to our achievements, but sees us in all our nakedness, all our fear, doubt and all our sin – as well as our achievement – and loves us anyway.

A love that would love the same if we lived our whole lives and achieved nothing and got it all wrong every single moment.  (more…)

Last time I talked about Steve Jobs, about the process of death and resurrection and how in order to live a full, free live in tune with the way of Jesus, that we need to learn how to embrace the process of death and resurrection in order to truly live.

Today I want to take that discussion on. Because if this process of death and resurrection is true for us in our own individual faith journey, then it is certainly true for us as a church – a community of believers worldwide, and individual churches – and even possibly true of religion and maybe Christianity itself.

I’ve never been a fan of religion. To me it always seemed like a moral version of politics. The Oxford definition of religion is:

“the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power , especially a personal God or gods; a particular system of faith and worship ; a pursuit or interest followed with great devotion”

Contrast that with the unofficial definition of it in the picture above:

‘An organised system  or institution of belief based upon the traditions of men instead of the pursuit of friendship with God – or the act of playing church, exchanging internal truths for external performance, substituting spiritual realities with carnal rituals’

I wonder, which of those is truly most accurate about the Christian religion and what the church of Jesus looks like today? Many would say there’s a bit of both, others would point largely to the latter one and still others would ignore and disregard the latter one as cynical and dismiss it completely. Such is human nature.  The real question is, does the church today and the Christian religion accurately reflect what Jesus originally intended – and what are we willing to do to ensure we continue to be faithful to the way of Jesus? (more…)

“Death is the destination we all share. No one has escaped it.  And that is as is should be, because death is very likely the very best invention of life. It’s life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new” – Steve Jobs, 2005

How many of you have ever had a problem with an app on your smartphone or i-pad or similar? What’s one of the most often used ways of dealing with it? Yep, delete the app and reinstall it. It worked the other day for my hotmail app on my i-phone, and has worked several times. How often when your computer or electronic device seems to crash or freeze, or not be working, is the response to turn it off and on again? And it works. So often, in fact, more often than not.

It’s truly phenomenal.

I have no idea why it works that way – but it does seem to doesn’t it?  Essentially you need to let the machine or phone app die, in order for it to live again and achieve it’s full function.

Which reveals a process fundamental to all life, and at the heart of the way of Jesus.

Death – followed by resurrection.

Seeds fall to the ground and die, giving birth to plants, flowers, trees – some of which bear fruit for us to live. Even vegetarians are eating something which has died, because fruit has to die in order for us to eat it. Meat, we all know, came from a living being, which had to die in order for us to enjoy the meat.

Even in drink, something has to die in order for us to have fruit juice, beer or wine. These are all things which provide us with life. Indeed, the thing that often makes the soil good for growing food is manure, which is dead waste from animals – and often the more recent it died, the more fertile it is.

It’s just everywhere

Which brings us neatly to the quote at the top by the late Steve Jobs (pictured), who passed away only this month. I think he had it spot on when it came to assessing this topic, even though he may not have realised it, and indeed as a muslim would probably not have encountered it as Christians would have.

What he spoke about was truth.  (more…)

I seem to have developed a habit of wrestling with God.

It sounds like a ridiculous idea on paper, perfectly preposterous. A six foot tall marginally overweight man against the creator of the universe isn’t very good odds is it?

But I seem to be doing it a lot more lately. I have spoken about how we need to acknowledge the battle in order to grow in intimacy with God, and deal with the issues behind the battle. This post is more about going the process of beyond the battle into the reasons for it. You see this battle is not a one-off that happens and then it’s done. It’s an ongoing battle. But occasionally you have significant ones – and I’ve had one recently.

One habit I have developed over the years – and I’m not sure disclosing this is going to make me come across so well – is when I’m waiting for a train or bus, and away from the majority of people, I tend to pray under my breath. Not quite loud enough for anyone to hear clearly, but not quite enough that no one will hear. I have a conversation with God.

I’m pretty sure if I did it loud enough and often enough in front of the same people I’d soon be moved off to the local mental asylum, but I’m smart enough to keep it quiet so that people don’t hear too much – and of course often I play the new trick crazy people use, by sticking an earpiece in my ear so it looks like I’m talking on the phone to someone.

Which actually isn’t too far away from the truth, in all truth. I’m talking to God. Occasionally I give Him some space to reply, and open my mind up to hear what His response might be.

I might be the only person that does this, I don’t know. I’ve done this since I was a teenager. I’ve always been a bit of loner to be honest, very shy and content in my own company. (My good friends are laughing right now, wondering where that person has been all these years…).

In all seriousness though, when I was a teenager getting bullied at school and unable to talk to my parents about my problems, as they were too busy with theirs, God was actually the only person I could talk to. (more…)

“James, you look like you’re fighting against yourself all the time.”

I was told this once by a friend in my home group. I knew the moment he said it – and beforehand in all honesty – it was true. I seem to be fighting with myself a lot at the moment.

Someone said to me the other night that as I was a man I needed to learn to think more, especially when entertaining women, as her husband didn’t know the date of their wedding anniversary.

I argued back that not all men are bad at thinking. Some of us – like me – think way too much.

It’s not up for debate. Honestly, I have lost count of the number of times people have said to me I over-think things and I need to slow down and relax. Admittedly, I do need to slow down and relax sometimes – a sabbath for me definitely will involve no deep thinking, no writing and no stimulus to deep thinking – films like The Matrix are definitely out.

But one of the results of being a deep thinker is over-thinking, and being very self-aware. I notice that in my head I know all the right things, even the deeper arguments and the uncomfortable questions, beyond the normal, but that something in my gut is saying no, and not happy about what this means. Something in my gut is just not wanting to join in, is angry about how his life is and frustrated with God, and no great words are going to change that.

Because of this I have noticed in my journey with God I have often found myself fighting with myself – and with God, trying to come to some place of peace and wholeness. (more…)

Have you ever had one of those ‘eye-opening’ moments? Those moments where something that maybe you knew as head knowledge, or had heard from someone, but didn’t really get, became clear to you? When you suddenly got it.

I like to call them ‘oh yeah’ moments. Because whenever I see people have those moments they pause, and then go ‘oh yeah’, starting at a lower octave and then raising the pitch as they get into the yeah. It’s actually quite a funny thing to see, especially when you do get it and have done all along.

I suspect God must have a right laugh at us, seeing us finally get things which He’s known all along – and I mean that in a good way, you know the way you laugh at something in hindsight which you couldn’t at the time. I think that’s often how God laughs – with us, not at us, but He can laugh whilst those things are happening because He already knows the outcome.

Anyway, I had one of these moments the other day whilst reading my Bible and looking at some of the teachings and sayings of Jesus. It got me thinking about heaven & hell in a brand new way. (more…)