Rob Bell tells a story in his new book about how when he first became a pastor, a member of his church came up to him after a service said to him ‘If you want to see real church, go to an AA meeting’. So he went, and when it came to his turn, just said ‘pass’.

He said after a while he began to realise something.

It was a “bullshit free zone” (his phrasing).

No hiding. No being polite in front of people. No disguising your weaknesses. No protecting yourself.

Just owning who you really are. Being vulnerable. Making yourself naked before others. Admitting your dark side. No hiding.

As I began to reflect on this I realised this would be a great model for church.

We’ve all experienced or heard about churches where secrets are kept. Where people hide their weaknesses. Where fear of being exposed governs behaviour. It happens all too often in the modern church.

But this isn’t church. It’s a (more…)

I have a confession to make. I am screwed up. I have bad habits which I’m ashamed of. I’ve made mistakes and still do. I can get annoyed at little things. I’ve been in a broken home and lost a parent young. I’ve seen alcoholism at first hand. I lack confidence and occasionally self-esteem. I can be lazy, make excuses and procrastinate.

In other words, I’m a mess.

I don’t have it all together.

My life isn’t perfect.

I don’t have all the answers.

However, I get encouragement from others about the kind of person they see. A wise, intelligent, insightful person with (more…)

Last weekend I blogged about how we need to feel the absence of God in order to have intimacy with God. It’s a major part of my journey right now – and today I want to take this discussion further.

I’ve been going through a season of doubt in my faith. Asking questions which have taken me to the very heart of my faith. But in many ways I felt closer to God then than I have done when things were good. When faith was certain.

It’s strange, but in the moment of doubt and despair I’ve actually felt an intimacy with God I don’t feel in the good times.

I have always suspected doubt is good for our relationship with God. Now, I’m even more certain.

To have an intimate relationship with the divine, we need doubt. We can’t live (more…)

For the last two weeks I’ve participated in Lisa-Jo Baker’s “Five-Minute Friday”. The concept is simply writing for 5 minutes, straight from the heart, on a given subject – and then sharing it.

No edits, no marinading or reflecting – just write and share.

Anyhow, here’s today’s “5 Minute Friday” – the theme, appropriately for Good Friday, is “Broken”.

Here goes…

The myth perpetuated throughout our culture is some people have it all together – the successful, rich, good-looking – and some don’t. And this is how it is. Allegedly.

Except it’s not true.

All of us are broken.

Every. Single. One of us.

We’re all messed up. We’ve all made mistakes.

We all have deep hurts, fears and insecurities buried (more…)

Hi there. I’ve not written to you much. We normally do this verbally. But anyway, I have some thoughts to share with you.

I know I’ve not been the perfect disciple. My whole life I’ve attended church, so much so I don’t know a life without it. But both of us know I’m nowhere near perfect. You see my bad habits, the bitter, under-my-breath prayers cursing you, even saying I hate you.

Sometimes I wonder how authentic my faith in you is. I wonder how much I believe in you because simply I’m afraid of the alternative – rather than simply because you’re true.

You see, I can’t bear the thought of a world without you. This place is so dark and messed up. I live in a system which lives to make money, to sell products I don’t need. And I am so much as part of this, almost to the degree where there is no difference.

Is this the radical faith you spoke about?

Is this the counter-cultural life you call me to?

It certainly doesn’t seem like it.

But a world without you? You not being real? I can’t imagine.

What would it be like?

There would still be (more…)

Today I’m doing a little experiment. I’m taking part in a little event called ’5 Minute Friday’. Each week a bunch of bloggers are challenged to write for just 5 minutes on a subject, and then post it. As it is. With no time to edit or correct at all. It’s all linked up to Lisa-Jo Baker’s blog where you can find more info. So today, I’m taking my first tentative step on this journey – on the theme of Rest. Let me know what you think!

On the weekend of my birthday this year, I felt I needed a rest. I’d just launched a book and done a lot of writing and promotional work, and was absolutely exhausted. I wanted to take some time off writing and social media, and just chill out and recharge. But nevertheless, I felt guilty about it.

Like somehow the world would end if I didn’t rest.

Now I like rest. No doubt about it. Rest can be awesome, relaxing and a lot of fun. But in a busy world, where a common phrase is “I’m just too busy”, it’s easy to feel guilty about rest. I did then, and we all do at times.

Why? Well, because (more…)

One of my my all-time top films is ‘Shadowlands’, adapted from the play by William Nicholson. It’s based on the true story of one of my favourite authors, C.S.Lewis. It tells the story of how he talked about suffering as God’s “megaphone to rouse a deaf world” and then experienced this for himself when his wife suffered and died from cancer.

But there is an interesting quote about prayer in the film. It comes from a part of the play when Joy is in brief remission, and the University priest says to Lewis how hard he’s been praying, and God is answering his prayers. But Lewis responds:

“That’s not why I pray. 

I pray because I can’t help myself. 

I pray because I’m helpless. 

I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. 

It doesn’t change God- it changes me.” – Shadowlands (William Nicholson)

This woke me up to one simple truth.

God doesn’t need us to (more…)

I’ve written about my late Mum here before. She has an amazing story to tell. But today it’s National Woman’s Day and this coming Sunday it’s Mothers Day – so today I want to tell you why my Mum is one of my heroes – as a woman and as a Christian.

Was she a ‘mature Christian’? I’m not sure. She attended church regularly and served the church community we were a part of. But I wouldn’t call her a ‘mature Christian’ by any stretch of the imagination.

Was my Mum perfect? Probably not. She had her insecurities and problems. She didn’t always get things right.

So why, despite her imperfections, is my Mum a spiritual and female hero?

On April 1st 1985, when I was 8 years old – funnily enough, during Holy Week – my mother had a severe asthma attack. She ended up in a deep coma. Doctors said she was unlikely to survive, and if she did she would essentially be a vegetable

But my Mum did wake up. She was no vegetable.

However, Doctors said she had lost her short-term memory. Although she would regain a large amount of it and otherwise was perfectly normal, she would never be quite the same again.

But when my Mum first came out of her coma one of the first things she did, was ring my Dad (proof her long-term memory was fine). Here’s the conversation:

Mum: “I’m back!!!”

Dad: “Great. Where have you been?”

Mum: “Oh, I’ve been walking with Jesus by Galilee and He’s sent me back”

I first heard this story when I was 8 years old. And I am convinced if I hadn’t heard this, I may not have set off on the spiritual journey which (more…)

In the last week or so  I’ve shared the 6 lessons I learned from 2012, and moved into why we need to set values not goals for 2013. Today I want to look at learning to trust God with the outcome.

As I’ve looked back over the past 12 months I am amazed at what has transpired. In some ways it happened because I was intentional – yet none of it happened the way I imagined and the results were nothing like I would have predicted.

Such is the nature of life.

We can scheme and plot all we like. We can be as intentional as it’s possible to be.

But if we want to grow, we must also learn to surrender the outcome.

Much of the stress of our lives comes when we try to control the (more…)

I wrote in my last post about my lessons from 2012 I’ll be taking into 2013, and in the next few weeks I’ll be blogging about some of them in more detail. Beginning today  - with the importance of values over goals.

How often have you read about goal-setting?

It’s a phrase you hear more and more in today’s culture – especially during the New Year period. I’ve recently heard it several times from friends.

I’m sure ‘goal-setting’ works for some people. But for me, all it represents is another opportunity for disappointment. In the past I set goals with the best of intentions, and (more…)