Rob Bell tells a story in his new book about how when he first became a pastor, a member of his church came up to him after a service said to him ‘If you want to see real church, go to an AA meeting’. So he went, and when it came to his turn, just said ‘pass’.

He said after a while he began to realise something.

It was a “bullshit free zone” (his phrasing).

No hiding. No being polite in front of people. No disguising your weaknesses. No protecting yourself.

Just owning who you really are. Being vulnerable. Making yourself naked before others. Admitting your dark side. No hiding.

As I began to reflect on this I realised this would be a great model for church.

We’ve all experienced or heard about churches where secrets are kept. Where people hide their weaknesses. Where fear of being exposed governs behaviour. It happens all too often in the modern church.

But this isn’t church. It’s a (more…)

Today is Holy Saturday. This day, in the Easter story, is a day when Jesus is dead. Gone. Absent. If people are sick, there’s no one to heal them. If people want words of wisdom or insight, He’s not there.

He’s dead. In the tomb.

Yesterday and today I’ve read a lot of tweets and Facebook updates, talking about how difficult Good Friday was…

…but we must remember Sunday.

How it’s all going to be okay because Jesus rises again.

We don’t have to get depressed about His death, because we know it’s all okay in the end.

Now there might be some truth in this. Jesus does rise again. Which is awesome.

But can we wait till tomorrow to remember it?

All this triumphalism disappoints me. It hurts. Because the truth is, things don’t always (more…)

For the last two weeks I’ve participated in Lisa-Jo Baker’s “Five-Minute Friday”. The concept is simply writing for 5 minutes, straight from the heart, on a given subject – and then sharing it.

No edits, no marinading or reflecting – just write and share.

Anyhow, here’s today’s “5 Minute Friday” – the theme, appropriately for Good Friday, is “Broken”.

Here goes…

The myth perpetuated throughout our culture is some people have it all together – the successful, rich, good-looking – and some don’t. And this is how it is. Allegedly.

Except it’s not true.

All of us are broken.

Every. Single. One of us.

We’re all messed up. We’ve all made mistakes.

We all have deep hurts, fears and insecurities buried (more…)

One of my my all-time top films is ‘Shadowlands’, adapted from the play by William Nicholson. It’s based on the true story of one of my favourite authors, C.S.Lewis. It tells the story of how he talked about suffering as God’s “megaphone to rouse a deaf world” and then experienced this for himself when his wife suffered and died from cancer.

But there is an interesting quote about prayer in the film. It comes from a part of the play when Joy is in brief remission, and the University priest says to Lewis how hard he’s been praying, and God is answering his prayers. But Lewis responds:

“That’s not why I pray. 

I pray because I can’t help myself. 

I pray because I’m helpless. 

I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. 

It doesn’t change God- it changes me.” – Shadowlands (William Nicholson)

This woke me up to one simple truth.

God doesn’t need us to (more…)

I’ve written about my late Mum here before. She has an amazing story to tell. But today it’s National Woman’s Day and this coming Sunday it’s Mothers Day – so today I want to tell you why my Mum is one of my heroes – as a woman and as a Christian.

Was she a ‘mature Christian’? I’m not sure. She attended church regularly and served the church community we were a part of. But I wouldn’t call her a ‘mature Christian’ by any stretch of the imagination.

Was my Mum perfect? Probably not. She had her insecurities and problems. She didn’t always get things right.

So why, despite her imperfections, is my Mum a spiritual and female hero?

On April 1st 1985, when I was 8 years old – funnily enough, during Holy Week – my mother had a severe asthma attack. She ended up in a deep coma. Doctors said she was unlikely to survive, and if she did she would essentially be a vegetable

But my Mum did wake up. She was no vegetable.

However, Doctors said she had lost her short-term memory. Although she would regain a large amount of it and otherwise was perfectly normal, she would never be quite the same again.

But when my Mum first came out of her coma one of the first things she did, was ring my Dad (proof her long-term memory was fine). Here’s the conversation:

Mum: “I’m back!!!”

Dad: “Great. Where have you been?”

Mum: “Oh, I’ve been walking with Jesus by Galilee and He’s sent me back”

I first heard this story when I was 8 years old. And I am convinced if I hadn’t heard this, I may not have set off on the spiritual journey which (more…)

Today I have the privilege of posting a guest post from the wonderful Wendy van Eyck. She is a TV producer and writer from Johannesburg, South Africa. She blogs regularly at ilovedevotionals.com.We began communicating via social media earlier this year, and I now count her as a good friend.

I guest posted on her blog recently, and immediately invited her to return the favour. Here Wendy shares with us about how she discovered God’s road map for her life. 

I was asked recently to write a road map of the moments in my life where anxiety or fear or pain has defined my story.

In place of words I was told to use symbols and pictures.

It was weird to sit down and map my life according to milestones I’d rather forget.

• There were the nights when the pain in my ears had me writhing in pain as a toddler.

• Days when I came out of school unsure of whether my mother would make it through this bout in ICU with a heart disorder.

• Minutes marked only by the ticking of the grandfather clock as I’d creep through the house and stand next to my parents bed to check they were breathing.

• Seconds in crumpling cars as tar and asphalt and metal collided to change the course of my life.

• The moment my parents told me they didn’t approve of me marrying the man I now call my husband because (more…)

I have an admission to make. I’m a hypocrite.

You know the old saying ‘Christians are hypocrites’? It’s absolutely true. (tweet that here)

This fact doesn’t make the truth of Christianity any less true or important. The way and values of Jesus are still true, no matter how badly His followers embody them.

But the fact is a lot, in fact, the majority of Christians are hypocrites. Including me.

Here’s some proof:  (more…)

Ever heard the phrase ‘God-shaped hole’? You ever been told you have a ‘God shaped hole’ in your life which only God can fill, and which you fill with other things?

Of course that sounds great doesn’t it? It sounds comforting and logical.

But it’s a lie.

We don’t have a God-shaped hole.(Tweet that here)

First off, the term implies there are other parts of us that either are already complete in God – or worse, don’t need God.

How much of what we believe is simply about lacking something and trying to fill that lack? (more…)

A lot has happened to me in my 35 years. If I were to go into too much depth it would be pages and pages of writing.

A mother who lost her short-term memory when I was 8, bullied at school, my Mum becoming depressed and alcoholic and constantly fighting with my Dad before they eventually they broke up. Losing Mum at the age of 23 and then seeing my Dad suffer with Parkinson’s and a second broken marriage.

It’s been painful. Ironically though it was all of this that pushed me closer to the God I was brought up to know, and who I have given my life to.

My pain has made me who I am. (Tweet that here)

Have you ever found that?

What experiences have shaped you (more…)

The eagle-eyed of you may have noticed a distinct lack of new material here in the last month or so. I decided to take a bit of what is commonly called a ‘sabbatical’ from posting new material here (though some guest posts have appeared elsewhere).

I’d love to give you all nice Christian jargon to explain this, like I ‘felt God leading me to’ or ‘it was a time/season of resting’ (come on, you’ve all heard this language before).

But that’s not really me, I’d rather just be myself and be honest. So here’s the deal.

I lost all motivation and energy for posting, and realised my motives were getting distorted.

Writing  – more specifically posting  – was getting me down. It had become a burden.

I posted out of fear of failure and anonymity, to be popular and successful. This fear had also subtly impacted my writing itself, in subtle ways. I had begun writing for everyone else.

What I felt I should write, what would be popular.

Writing and posting had become an idol. (more…)