Barack Obama this week spoke publicly on the subject same-sex marriage. He made clear his endorsement of same-sex marriage and championed the push to make it legal.

It’s a big issue being discussed in popular culture and the church right now.Different people both in and outside the church are taking stands on opposing sides – and there are some very cruel and unloving words being said by some, on both sides.

The thing is, all of this discussion on the rights and wrongs of same-sex marriage completely misses the point.

It’s not the right discussion to be having in the first place.

There’s a much bigger and more significant discussion we should be engaged with. One that goes to the root of the issue.

A discussion on what marriage is. (more…)

Last time we discussed how the profile we present in the digital space can be merely a representation of the social self we display in the physical realm.

This leads into a bigger, wider question though.

Are all the interactions and spaces in the digital realm merely an extension of what happens in the physical realm?

I would argue that they are. That is why they are real.

For example, most people are not at their most vulnerable when they interact with people in the digital realm. If they ever are it is through private messages, which no one but that individual will ever get to see.

Kind of like taking a friend aside and confiding in them about something, or asking their advice or support.

Social media is not a place we generally go to make ourselves vulnerable – and neither do we make ourselves vulnerable to all in the physical space, do we? (more…)

We all have a social self. A self the world sees, the part of us that we like everyone to know, the best parts of us. The words we use to interact with those around us, the image we present to the world.

The social self is merely an image projected by us, which we control, which ensures that people don’t see the darkest, most shameful or vulnerable parts of us. It’s the self we let people see, that interacts with people on a daily basis. We don’t generally let most people past this self – only those closest to us tend to get beyond it.

In many ways this is the self which protects everyone else from seeing what’s really going on inside, from who we really are.

The interesting thing about this is, that this is an exact, word-for-word description many use of the digital realm, the world of social media, the self that exists on Facebook or Twitter. (more…)

I recently went to the birthday party of a good friend. I only knew one person at the party – the person who’d invited me.

By the end of the evening I’d chatted to at least 5 or 6 new people in depth – and made two new Facebook friends. I’d also managed to grow my own self-confidence into the bargain.

Somehow, being around people, physically interacting with them, made a difference to me. I have new friendships in the digital realm now, but there was a connection made in physically interacting that couldn’t have been made otherwise.

It works in reverse too.

For example, the day before the party above, I met and had dinner with someone in London. A friend who I had chatted to on both Twitter, Facebook and Skype. Someone who I had built up a good friendship with and talked to about some important issues only in the digital realm.

A person I considered a good friend, but who I’d never met in the flesh before that day. (more…)

Our lives are all a journey aren’t they?

Like many journeys, along the way we often get disruptions – like death, end of a relationship, people moving away, illness – which are almost forced upon us. We don’t choose them, they simply come upon us when we least expect them, and nothing at all can prepare us for them. They are painful, overwhelming, emotional and a real struggle.

Valley experiences. Losing my mother was one of those for me. You may be in your own one right now.

But there are other valleys we walk too. The ones we choose.

Jesus chose a valley when He chose the cross. He didn’t have to do it, it wasn’t forced upon Him, it wasn’t a complete shock – and He could have escaped it.

He chose instead to surrender Himself completely to it – and fortunate for us that He did.

About 14 months ago I was sitting in a pub with a good friend. We were talking and one of the matters that seemed to come up was the issue of me trusting God. Those who know me well know that trust is always a struggle for me, because of my background being bullied, coming from a broken home and losing a parent at young age.

But this was God. (more…)

Today I’m going to be going back to the topic of social media . In the time since I last blogged on the subject I’ve decided that this topic is far too big to merely have a short-term series on it.

The issue of social media is so significant  and there are so many areas to cover that we need to devote time to it, and so from now on it’ll be one of the ongoing discussions/themes of my blog.

I recently decided to take some time off from social media. I’ve always believed it important we take regular sabbaths from social media  – but I’d always struggled to really lay it down and actually do it.

Which is a good sign that I really needed to stop.

So with the help of a couple of accountability partners, I decided to spend 48 hours out of the digital realm.

Cut off. No Facebook, no Twitter, no Google + or e-mail, for 48 hours. (more…)

Welcome to the first post of my series on Jesus’ Passion. We begin today, Maundy Thursday, the evening Jesus was arrested.

So let’s try and picture the scene. Jesus has been in Jerusalem all week preaching. It is now late Thursday, going into Friday. Jesus has had a last supper with the disciples and broken bread with them. Judas has already gone to fetch those who will arrest Him.

Now to Gesthemene.

Jesus goes on ahead, and prays. He tells His disciples that His soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.

A sorrow so deep in His soul that it is taking over His physical body.

He knows what lies ahead. He knows the path laid out for Him. He knows what He must do.

He grasps it so fully it is overwhelming Him.

So He prays, and He is brutally honest in His prayers.

“take this cup of suffering from me…” (more…)

As many of you know this is not the only place where you will find my writing. I also guest post for various sites on a fairly regular basis.

This week, however, there’s not just one but two guest posts written by myself which have gone live.

The first of these is on a site called ‘Goins, Writer’ and it’s run by Jeff Goins – who some of you may remember I interviewed a couple of months ago. It’s a site about writing, creativity and how to become more effective and mature in those areas of our live. It has been a big inspiration to me in my own writing and creativity, and for anyone with a creative spirit I would heartedly recommend it. (more…)

For so much of my life I’ve tried to control everything. Relationships, work, creativity, circumstances.

Even my faith.

Yes, I’ve tried to control God.

Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? On the face of it it sounds patently absurd, no matter what your view of God is like, when you hear the term ‘God’ you don’t think of a being you can control. The whole idea is impossible.

But I’ve tried to do it nevertheless. There are several cunning ways my soul comes up with to do this, many of which I do without even making a conscious decision to do so.

First, I can get angry with God and make demands and accusations of Him, which are patently ridiculous and make assumptions about His character which in reality I know aren’t true.

Second, I don’t give Him a chance to respond. I don’t spend enough time listening to Him to hear what He has to say in response.

Third, I restrict God to human boundaries – I treat Him like He’s human and sees things from my limited perspective. This above all is something that it’s so easy to do that I often don’t realise I’m doing it. (more…)

Depeche Mode once recorded the song, ‘Enjoy the Silence’ – a great tune. But how much do we ‘enjoy silence’?

In my experience silence is something that can be, certainly at first, very uncomfortable.

Awkward.

Strange.

Thoughts rush through our mind, things from within. You suddenly remember things you had to do, errands you had to run, things you need to buy, places you need to be.

As silence wraps its cloak around you, your mind begins to churn out things just to fill the gaps.

Because silence exposes us.

It strips us bare.

It makes us naked. (more…)