James Prescott

Social Media: Taking a break

Social media & the social self

James Prescott — Thu, 03 May 2012 10:43:45 +0000

We all have a social self. A self the world sees, the part of us that we like everyone to know, the best parts of us. The words we use to interact with those around us, the image we present to the world.

The social self is merely an image projected by us, which we control, which ensures that people don’t see the darkest, most shameful or vulnerable parts of us. It’s the self we let people see, that interacts with people on a daily basis. We don’t generally let most people past this self – only those closest to us tend to get beyond it.

In many ways this is the self which protects everyone else from seeing what’s really going on inside, from who we really are.

The interesting thing about this is, that this is an exact, word-for-word description many use of the digital realm, the world of social media, the self that exists on Facebook or Twitter.

I have heard people describe it as a world we control, a version of us rather than the whole of us, which can give a false impression to people of who we are. It is a self we create, which we present to people and doesn’t involve us being vulnerable or even being honest.

Which is exactly how I would describe the social self in the physical realm.

They are, in fact, precisely the same.

The self that we present on Facebook or any social network is the social self – it has merely reinterpreted to the world a self we began to create long ago and continue to recreate all the time.

It has made that self far more obvious that it has been before, because it is in a different realm, because it’s not so tied in to our physical self.

People can keep making accusations that the digital realm isn’t real and that it’s a realm we control and we only allow certain people to see specific parts of ourselves.

But isn’t this what we do when we interact with people physically anyway? It seems much more likely that something like our Facebook profile, for example, is merely an extension and digital representation of our social self.

If we call the digital realm isn’t real, we are simply saying our social self isn’t real either.

The real question this poses then, is:

Is our social self, the one we present to the world, true – or is it not?

It’s a scary question. Because what social media has done is allow us to step away from ourselves and see parts of us that only others get to see normally. We get more of an external view.

This however all leads to an even bigger set of questions – which I will tackle in my next post:

Is the digital realm, far from being unreal, actually an extension of ourselves?

Is our digital self, in reality, actually an extension of our real mind, body and soul, merely translated into another space?

That’s for next time. In the meantime however, let us first ask ourselves not merely if our Facebook profile is a true reflection of our social self – but if our social self is a true representation of ourselves.

Do you agree that the self seen on your online self is merely a digital representation of your social self?

Do you believe the self that is represented in your online profile is true? Or is it not?

What does that mean for us?

Social Media: Which world do you live in?

Jeff Goins interview part 1

E-book Review: “You Are A Writer” by Jeff Goins

James Prescott — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 17:38:26 +0000

In the last year or so I’ve become more aware of the work of Jeff Goins. He is a writer, successful blogger and soon-to-be published author. I published a two-part interview of him for this site earlier in the year and I recently wrote a guest post for his site.

He’s just written a new e-book, ‘You Are a Writer‘, and I’ve had the privilege of getting an advance copy to review. There’s also a great website related to the book, which you can find here.

I don’t often review others’ work, but Jeff is a compelling, challenging writer and it’s no understatement to say his work could be life-changing for you. Even if you don’t think of yourself as a writer, wait and give this review a read – then go and get this book.

Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.

Jeff Goins is a writer.

In his new e-book, he makes clear you can be one too.

In this relatively short but powerful e-book, he calls us out to embrace who we can be – to stop dreaming of being writers, stop waiting to be picked and to start calling ourselves writers – and teaches us how to be writers.

Jeff subtly takes the reader out of their comfort zone, and once out, he never lets them go back. As the book progresses he invites the reader, as all good writers do, to join him on a journey – a journey to discover their inner writer.

He gives excellent, simple and practical advice for all those who desire to become writers, sharing the ups and downs of his own journey from struggling writer desperate to be picked, to the gatekeeper who gets book contracts and article invitations sent to them, and on the verge of publishing his first book.

According to Jeff, this isn’t an experience that has to be unique to him. He believes that it’s something all of us can achieve – if we’re willing to do the groundwork.

Many books giving aspiring people advice and guidance can be very visionary without any practical guidance – and others are all practical, without any hint of the bigger picture. Jeff somehow finds the balance between these. He gives the reader a glimpse of what it possible – but always balances it with an explanation of the harsh realities of what it is to be an emerging writer, and above all with simple but practical guidance of how to get there.

As a writer myself, it was a big challenge and inspiration to me. At times when reading Jeff’s success story I found myself frustrated at how simple he made it sound. However, hearing about his struggles, and how hard he had to work to achieve what he has done, combined with the practical advice on how to make that possible, was reassured and given a healthier, more positive perspective.

Jeff never hides that it will take hard work, perseverance and above all courage to achieve success as a writer – but he offers encouragement that if one puts in the work, if they dedicate themselves, and above all choose themselves, that success can be gained.

The phrases and concepts which stand out, which must be remembered above all are these:

First, that all writiers must have courage in bucketloads – courage to build relationships, to deal with failure and rejection (which he says are inevitable), to put your work out there and take risks.

Second, he instructs the reader to stop and simply choose themselves. To begin with, no one else is going to.

But the biggest challenge of all is that we must begin to call ourselves writers. Before we do anything else, we must call ourselves a writer.

The title of the book says it all. It doesn’t say you might a writer, or you’re a potential writer.

It says you are a writer.

This is the heart of what is an inspiring, challenging e-book, one that I think will become a must for anyone wanting to develop as a writer. No matter how far I go in writing, I am confident it is a book I will return to again and again.

You are a writer – and after reading this e-book, you might well believe it.

I do.

Now I know I’m a writer – and I’m going to start acting like one.

James Prescott is a writer & creative exploring social media, gender issues & the divinely messy journey of life. He blogs regularly at James Prescott.co.uk & is a regular guest blogger at bigbible.org.uk and other sites. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook.

Jeff Goins helps people tell better stories and make a difference in the world. He lives in Tennessee with his wife and dog. Follow him onTwitter and Facebook.

His new e-book ‘You Are a Writer’ is now available on here. You can find out more information on it and how you can be a writer here.

Related posts:

Jeff Goins interview part 2 – existing in the tension

You Must Engage Your Creative Side – My guest post for Jeff Goins

Social Media: Life without digital, death without physical

James Prescott — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 06:31:47 +0000

I recently went to the birthday party of a good friend. I only knew one person at the party – the person who’d invited me.

By the end of the evening I’d chatted to at least 5 or 6 new people in depth – and made two new Facebook friends. I’d also managed to grow my own self-confidence into the bargain.

Somehow, being around people, physically interacting with them, made a difference to me. I have new friendships in the digital realm now, but there was a connection made in physically interacting that couldn’t have been made otherwise.

It works in reverse too.

For example, the day before the party above, I met and had dinner with someone in London. A friend who I had chatted to on both Twitter, Facebook and Skype. Someone who I had built up a good friendship with and talked to about some important issues only in the digital realm.

A person I considered a good friend, but who I’d never met in the flesh before that day.

There is no question our friendship was real before we met. The friendship we’d built up before we met physically was true, authentic and real.

But somehow meeting him, having coffee and dinner with him and discussing face-to-face a lot of the issues we’d discussed online, added a dimension to our friendship.

Something was added to our relationship we had not possessed before.

Physical interaction does this to relationships. It brings a dimension we cannot replicate or experience elsewhere.

This is not to say that we cannot have true, authentic relationships without physical interaction. Not at all. I have many close friendships where we have never met physically, and they mean a lot to me, they are as deep as any friendship I have offline.

But there is something about physical interaction we cannot replicate electronically. Not even on Skype, where we get to see someone in their physical environment, face to face. That is the closest the digital realm has come to replicating physical interaction.

But it’s still not the same.

Internet dating sites now account for about 30% of marriages or civil partnerships – a pretty high rate, given only 20 years ago it was 0%.

But none of those relationships would be able to be fully consumated unless the two people involved had met physically. It’s simply not possible. People aren’t going to date, yet alone marry, someone they haven’t even met in person. Having kids would be pretty difficult (though, technically, scientifically possible).

In the Genesis story, Adam is told it’s not good for man to be alone. Right from the beginning then, we are told that as human beings it’s not good for us to not have interaction with others – and whilst that is possible electronically, the point being made here is abundantly clear.

Physical interaction with others in fundamental to us fully embracing, understanding and gaining the absolute most of the human experience.

That’s not to say solitude at times is bad. Jesus Himself often withdraws to places quietly to pray on His own, and there are tremendous benefits to that.

But from the beginning we see that without regular physical interaction with others, we can’t be fully human.

It’s just not healthy.

In many ways, without physical interaction, we’re dead.

Yes, we must embrace the digital realm and be fully immersed in it. The interactions that go on there are real. We can build true, authentic friendships and relationships there without ever meeting physically. Sometimes, that’s what happens.

But one thing my digital sabbath showed me is…

…we can live without it.

Ultimately life can go on without the digital realm.

In contrast, it simply can’t go on without physical interaction.

If we are to be fully human in the way we were designed to be, we must always balance digital relationships with regular physical interaction and engagement with others.

There’s nothing that can quite replicate it.

Do you have friendships that exist only in the digital realm?

Do you believe that those kind of friendships are real (as I do) – or not? Why/why not?

How can we build a healthy balance of relationships within the digital and physical realms?

Related posts:

Social Media: Taking a break

Social Media: Which world do you live in?

Step outside yourself – you might be surprised

Choosing the valley

James Prescott — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 07:45:39 +0000

Our lives are all a journey aren’t they?

Like many journeys, along the way we often get disruptions – like death, end of a relationship, people moving away, illness – which are almost forced upon us. We don’t choose them, they simply come upon us when we least expect them, and nothing at all can prepare us for them. They are painful, overwhelming, emotional and a real struggle.

Valley experiences. Losing my mother was one of those for me. You may be in your own one right now.

But there are other valleys we walk too. The ones we choose.

Jesus chose a valley when He chose the cross. He didn’t have to do it, it wasn’t forced upon Him, it wasn’t a complete shock – and He could have escaped it.

He chose instead to surrender Himself completely to it – and fortunate for us that He did.

About 14 months ago I was sitting in a pub with a good friend. We were talking and one of the matters that seemed to come up was the issue of me trusting God. Those who know me well know that trust is always a struggle for me, because of my background being bullied, coming from a broken home and losing a parent at young age.

But this was God.

I began to feel a very real conviction that I needed to surrender myself to Him, to let Him into my heart. Trust Him. I had fears, doubts and insecurities about it, but knew I had to do it nevertheless.

So that’s exactly what I did.

We prayed and I gave God permission to come into my heart and do business there.

It was against my better judgement – one of those moments where I knew it was the right thing to do, even though a part of me was very reluctant – so I just did it.

Little did I know what I was letting myself in for.

The last 14 months have, without question, been a valley time for me. A time where I have faced great darkness in myself, been humbled on various occasions, compelled to face up to the worst of myself and had to wrestle with God a lot. It has led me to a place of receiving personal prayer ministry and counselling for all the issues it has raised.

Yet, even through all of this, I have somehow felt positive. I have never once doubted that this is a necessary, healthy process. I haven’t liked it all the time, I’ve got angry with God more than once.

But I have had the strong sense that God is working on me, doing business with me, that I’m being refined, purified.

This is a painful process, it’s a tough journey to walk. Morpheus says in the Matrix that

“…there is a difference between knowing the path, and walking the path”

I have discovered for myself the truth behind that statement. I have been walking a long, painful, path, but at the same time I have known that the journey is going somewhere, that there is going to be fruit to this labour.

In many ways it has felt like a process of death and resurrection.

Issues that have been hindering me for many years, things I’d ignored and brushed under the carpet, flaws I’d simply accepted rather than dealt with – all have been exposed and are being worked through with God.

In many ways this process is now ending, I am experiencing the resurrection beyond the death. New beginnings, healing and a freedom I didn’t have before. I’m still on a journey, but it’s a different kind of journey. I’m closer to God than ever before.

But to gain that I had to let go of the need to control the outcome and simply trust God. Trust that after death, there would be resurrection.

This whole journey has shown me the value of being honest and upfront with God about ourselves. It’s possible for us to know about our issues and simply hide from them or ignore them.

But we must be open and honest with God. It’s not like our issues are going to be a surprise to Him are they?

Now I don’t for one minute think my willingness to go through this process and experience makes me any kind of special person. Nor do I equate what I have done with Jesus going to the cross.

That took a very special, divine kind of faith, which I don’t pretend to possess. But death/resurrection is a good metaphor for this process, and like Jesus, it’s one we choose.

Now things may be good in our lives right at this moment. All going smoothly, no disruptions.

But maybe in this moment God is calling you out. Maybe He has been for some time but you’ve ignored it. Maybe He’s asking you to give Him your heart, trust Him with it, allowing Him to strip it down and show you areas you need to grow – or deal with areas you already know need healing.

It’s not a journey we should choose lightly. It’s may indeed be that it’s not something God is calling you to right now. If you are going to choose it, it will require discernment, wisdom and courage.

You see this process can be painful and difficult. It will involve wrestling and facing harsh truths. There’s no point pretending it’s easy. But the fruit could be better than you could imagine.

Ultimately though, this isn’t anyone else’s choice.

It’s yours.

You know yourself. You know if there are issues you’re hiding from, habits or attitudes you wish were better, issues from the past you’ve brushed under the carpet.

You won’t ever be free until you face them.

If you do choose this process though, you won’t be alone. Every step of the way you’ll be with Jesus, someone who has chosen the valley before and overcome it.

It’s up to you.

Have you ever chosen the valley?

What issues in your life do you feel God calling you to face?

Are there things in your life you are simply ignoring, which God is speaking into?

Related posts:

When will you trust me?

Mum’s story: April 29th – My day she died

Social Media: Taking a break

James Prescott — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 17:59:42 +0000

Today I’m going to be going back to the topic of social media . In the time since I last blogged on the subject I’ve decided that this topic is far too big to merely have a short-term series on it.

The issue of social media is so significant and there are so many areas to cover that we need to devote time to it, and so from now on it’ll be one of the ongoing discussions/themes of my blog.

I recently decided to take some time off from social media. I’ve always believed it important we take regular sabbaths from social media – but I’d always struggled to really lay it down and actually do it.

Which is a good sign that I really needed to stop.

So with the help of a couple of accountability partners, I decided to spend 48 hours out of the digital realm.

Cut off. No Facebook, no Twitter, no Google + or e-mail, for 48 hours.

To exaggerate it’s impact, at the same time I had the week off work to rest at home, do some writing and chill out. I’d also given up DVD’s for lent, which meant I couldn’t escape into a work or a film.

Once it began, the one thing I immediately noticed was how

quiet

life had suddenly become.

I don’t know about you, but I have often found that even though there is no audio feed on Twitter or other social networks (surely just a matter of time before audio tweets isn’t it..?), that it can be a very noisy place – especially in the midst of social media conversations with followers and friends.

That was all gone.

Silent.

The other thing that immediately became clear was how much of a distraction social media can really be at times. I wasn’t constantly looking at my phone or laptop to see if there were any new messages – and I couldn’t.

I was alone with my thoughts.

Now this can happen when you are interacting digitally, but without even the chance to dialogue with others at all, I now had no sounding board.

This led me to another realisation. Or rather, a couple of of questions.

How much of what I post is really necessary?

Then, the biggest, scariest question of all:

Why do I post what I post?

Often when you’re caught up in the buzz of social media and all the conversations and interactions that go on there, you post without really thinking why or what you’re saying, and it dawned on me how much I had done this.

The one overarching thing I learned through this experience however, was this.

I – we – can live without social media.

Life can go on without social media.

We can survive without social media.

I know, hard to imagine for some, but life does go on without social media. It did go on for billions of years before it too.

Now I am convinced completely the digital realm is real, and that the interactions and relationships we build there are completely real and have real consequences for our lives.

It’s an important tool/realm, and it is crucial that we make the best use of it - to bring truth, love and light to the world, to communicate the good news of our maker and His son to the world.

We must claim and redeem this realm, and use it for good.

But what we must recognise – and what a social media sabbath reminded me of – is that we can live without it.

We must be able and willing to lay it down.

Coming back to social media, after two days, did feel strange. I almost didn’t want to come back. I liked the space, the quiet, of not being in the digital realm. The freedom to spend time doing things without being distracted.

However, outweighing that, I remembered the interactions I have on social media, and the friendships I have built through that medium, that have been and continue to be so precious to me. I value them deeply. I also realise one of the ways I can have the most impact creatively and serve others is through interaction online (because of course, it’s real).

I enjoy social media and all the benefits it brings – and I wouldn’t want to have to live without it.

But now I know if it came to it, I could.

That it’s not vital to my existence.

As I have returned to social media, I now find myself more guarded about what I post. I find myself posting less but trying to make the most of each post. I appreciate the value of ‘less is more’ when in comes to digital interaction.

I have a far healthier perspective and approach to social media.

I appreciate how beneficial, how helpful it can be, to lay it down – even if only for a short time.

Personally, I treasure that time I had offline, the peace it gave me, the silence it brought to my life, and above all seeing all the benefits it has had.

I want to make it a regular part of my rhythm, although that may be a challenge.

I would encourage you all to do the same.

It will give you more space for quiet reflection, to ponder on what’s really important.

Above all, when you come back to it, you will value it all the more – and most likely use it more effectively.

So ask yourself:

Why do you post what you post on social media?

How important is social media interaction to you?

Do you take regular breaks from social media?

In what ways could you benefit from regular social media sabbaths?