Last weekend I blogged about how we need to feel the absence of God in order to have intimacy with God. It’s a major part of my journey right now – and today I want to take this discussion further.
I’ve been going through a season of doubt in my faith. Asking questions which have taken me to the very heart of my faith. But in many ways I felt closer to God then than I have done when things were good. When faith was certain.
It’s strange, but in the moment of doubt and despair I’ve actually felt an intimacy with God I don’t feel in the good times.
I have always suspected doubt is good for our relationship with God. Now, I’m even more certain.
To have an intimate relationship with the divine, we need doubt. We can’t live without it.
Most people like certainty. They want a way of seeing the world they have a semblance of control over. Where all things are clearly defined. Where every question has an answer. We’re a world in love with certainty.
And we all know, Christians love their certainty.
We like scriptures and teachings which clearly define for us how we’re meant to live and provide the answers for all the questions. It reassures us, it gives us confidence in God.
But it’s a limited confidence. And not real faith.
Now I’m not saying certainty is bad in specific contexts. And I appreciate the irony of being certain about doubt.
But I cannot follow a God who is limited by words on a page. A God for whom the final say lies in the written word. A God without mystery, who leaves us no room to question, doubt, or ask why.
Real faith means accepting the truth of God without any answers. It means seeing scripture not as the end of the discussion, but the beginning. It’s about accepting what we already know but are afraid to ever admit.
God is out of our control.
He’s way beyond the understanding and comprehension of our minds, emotions, souls, spirits or imaginations. We will never be able to fully grasp who He is.
And all the knowledge we will ever have about God is nothing compared to the truth
But this isn’t as terrifying as it sounds.
In fact, it’s liberating. (you can tweet that here)
If God is out of our control, then we are free to explore. We can go deeper, go on adventures into the mystery of who He is. We can dive into the deep well of faith knowing they have limitless depths.
Above all, we are free to doubt.
Free to ask why. Liberated to ask the questions we think we’re not “allowed to”, but which might actually take us deeper.
Scripture takes on new meaning too. It becomes the beginning of a journey into relationship with the divine..not an ending. And our relationship with God will be unique because we are all unique.
And the only payoff is accepting God is a mystery.
I love God more when He is a mystery. I love I don’t know everything about God. I think it’s awesome I can’t control Him or have all the answers. I love the thought of going on crazy adventures with God, questioning, doubting, learning and going deeper with Him.
I don’t know the answers. All I hold on to is God is real, true and loves me. And trusting this allows me to go places where certainty can never take me.
And it frees me to have more intimacy with my maker.
So please, today, I invite you to join me in the liberation of knowing nothing.
Are you with me?
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