I’ve been involved in leadership one way or another for a while. But only recently have I actually felt like a leader. I don’t say this flippantly either.
On my journey in leadership I’ve been at both ends of the spectrum. In years past I’ve been the cocky, immature leader who thinks he has all the answers. I’ve been the leader who appears to be mature but underneath has delusions of grandeur.
More recently I’ve gone the complete opposite way. I’ve had my heart, immaturity and weaknesses laid bare before me.
The way God already sees them.
I’ve been stripped naked by God and exposed for who I really am. It was painful and uncomfortable. In the process, I came to a place where I seriously considered surrendering my positions of responsibility.
I felt like a coward and a hypocrite.
And frankly, I was. Maybe, at times, I still am.
God showed me leadership isn’t about glory.It’s about washing feet. (you can tweet that here)
It’s not being looked up to. It’s looking up at others as you wash their feet.
But even in the midst of this, God was reminding me He loved and valued me. These issues had nothing to do with my value. It was simply truth I needed to hear.
At this point, I saw the truth of who I was and realised I was no example to anyone.
Baffled God had dared to give me any responsibility at all.
But it wasn’t the end.
God then took me to another place.
He stripped me naked again. But this time showed me the best of myself. My gifts, character, and the positive way many perceived me.
You see, when you lack self-respect, and in a place where you feel you shouldn’t be leading, there’s two things you really don’t want to hear:
1. You are a leader
2. Others, including leaders, respect you.
I was genuinely surprised when being treated with respect by other leaders.
So much so, I didn’t even notice it at first. Then when I did, I didn’t believe it.
But God was doing something. He was rebuking me, believe it or not.
You see, over time, I had learned how to disrespect myself. How to play the victim. I trained myself not to like me.
God was rebuking me for this.
He was commanding me to start respecting myself. Making it clear I was a leader. People did respect me. Above all, reminding me I had gifts to share with the world and responsibilities to others.
To be fully effective for God, learn to wash others feet. Learn to look upwards.
But I also needed to respect myself. To be aware of my responsibilities.
By the way, I don’t consider myself to have ‘made it’ or be in any way perfect.
I know in future I will be rebuked again. Need to ask forgiveness again. I’ve probably got some issues right now God is getting ready to deal with.
I still don’t have it all together.
But I do respect myself more.
And I do know leading is never about glory. It’s about serving.
God stripped me naked. He laid bare the worst and best of myself, and challenged me to accept it. Once I did, He was able to transform me. I was able to grow.
It’s easier to cover up and hide away. But it’s not the way to grow.
So today I want to encourage and challenge you:
Let yourself be naked before God. Allow Him to show you the best and worst of yourself. (you can tweet that here)
It will transform your life.
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