Today I have the privilege of posting a guest post from the wonderful Wendy van Eyck. She is a TV producer and writer from Johannesburg, South Africa. She blogs regularly at ilovedevotionals.com.We began communicating via social media earlier this year, and I now count her as a good friend.
I guest posted on her blog recently, and immediately invited her to return the favour. Here Wendy shares with us about how she discovered God’s road map for her life.
I was asked recently to write a road map of the moments in my life where anxiety or fear or pain has defined my story.
In place of words I was told to use symbols and pictures.
It was weird to sit down and map my life according to milestones I’d rather forget.
- There were the nights when the pain in my ears had me writhing in pain as a toddler.
- Days when I came out of school unsure of whether my mother would make it through this bout in ICU with a heart disorder.
- Minutes marked only by the ticking of the grandfather clock as I’d creep through the house and stand next to my parents bed to check they were breathing.
- Seconds in crumpling cars as tar and asphalt and metal collided to change the course of my life.
- The moment my parents told me they didn’t approve of me marrying the man I now call my husband because of the colour of his skin. The ensuing months of conversations and tears and heartache before my father walked me down the aisle.
- Then just this year the fear I felt when I was told my husband of eight months had cancer.
Anxiety. Pain. Fear. Struggle. Written on a page. Chiseled into my heart. Exposed in pictures. Released in words.
Somehow in the drawing, in the storytelling, in the sharing of anxiety, pain and fear I began to open my hand and let my past go.
A New Roadmap
In walking the road of struggle, revisiting the places that clung to me, gripped me, and tried to rename me in their honour, I began to find truth.
Anxiety, pain and fear tried to call me by these names: fearful, not good enough, rejected, broken and alone.
But as I scribbled out that road map I began to see how these struggles are not my whole life.
It opened my eyes to see that these few moments of struggle were trying to steal all the joy, peace, courage and freedom from me.
I desperately wanted joy, peace, courage and freedom to be the ones whose names I carried. The ones who bestowed their labels on me.
And as I wrote out these new names I saw how God was defining me as His: loved, embraced, redeemed, whole and enough.
I realized that God was offering me a different road map for my future. (you can tweet that here)
Not one without struggles, not one without pain or suffering or tears. But one where love casts out fear, joy replaces mourning, peace crowds out anxiety and courage pushes me to live in freedom.
And boy, do I want that.
I can taste the freedom in the air, I can feel my always too tense shoulders relax and I can hear my heart beat, “Yes, Lord.”
I can begin to feel my soul tracing a new roadmap.
A road may of joy.
A road map full of markers that show where God came and met me in my struggle. Where he changed me and carried me and helped me to believe that I really am what He says: loved, embraced, redeemed, whole and enough.
What is on your struggle road map?
Do you think God is offering you the same exchange?
How do you feel about being called loved, embraced, redeemed, whole and enough for the remaining chapters of your story?
Today’s guest poster: Wendy van Eyck (@wendyvaneyck) is writer, idea generator and TV producer from South Africa. She started writing devotionals while her husband was undergoing chemotherapy for cancer in 2012, as a way to express what she was learning on her journey. You can find her writing at ilovedevotionals.com
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