Letter To Me: Vicki Nelson
As I mentioned earlier in the week, for the rest of the month I’m going to be running several guest posts for the rest of the month, and I mentioned a new blog series. And this series, ‘Letter To Me’, begins today.
A while back I posted a blog which was a letter from my older self to my current self. I shared about this on Facebook, and it resonated with quite a few of you. In fact, some of you offered to share your own. So in the next month or two, I’m going to be sharing a few with you.
Today, I’m hosting the awesome Vicki Nelson – so without further ado, it’s over to Vicki!
Recognize me? I hope not, not completely anyway. I hope when you receive this letter, you will make some changes. And by the time you get here, meeting me in this spot, there will only be glimmers of you left, the bright spots, your wit, your courage, your ability to make others smile.
Life hasn’t slowed down for you. I have to tell you that, because I know you, and you will always want to stay busy. So I’m letting you in on this secret – stay well, take care of yourself. You will need it. Your knees are a little weaker now, a few more tweaks in that back, and those random pains that hit your body, well, they still do. But you will persevere, you always do.
Do you ever wished you hadn’t abused your body quite so much? That you hadn’t driven it, constantly working out? And for what?
Admiration? Self-worth? Ah, I hit it on the head, didn’t I? You’re feelings of being worthless. From the time you were young, when your family life seemed to be falling apart, you turned to your looks, thinking that was the way to gain attention. Then when, as a teen, it turned to anorexia, well, it worked. But look at yourself now. You’re looking okay. Don’t fret it so much. You’re healthy. There isn’t a need to work out every day. Besides, your knees will thank you for it later. Trust me.
While we are talking about worthlessness, it makes me think of another subject. Worry. They kind of go hand-in-hand, don’t they? You worry about things, things that don’t matter, things that will never happen. Why? Because, and this is just my take on it, because you feel worthless, and somehow worrying makes you feel important. What an odd way of perceiving that. I can tell you now, all that worrying hasn’t done you, or me, a bit of good. Well, look at my hair, it’s as white as a blizzard. Okay, I may be seventy-five, but don’t you wonder if my hair might look better, and my wrinkles less creased, if you hadn’t worried me to this point? All those stomach issues you have now, get rid of them – stop worrying! I tell ya, if you want to stay active, be here with me, you have to stop fretting and enjoy life. Life still happens, worrying or not.
Live. Love. Life. I remember when that was written everywhere, and how “cool” you thought it was. But did you really do that? Or were you too busy, dusting and sweeping, lining up spices, putting clothing in order? For what? Such insignificant things. Where was the living in that? Where was the love? You claimed it was to stay orderly, you did it for your family. But weren’t you really doing it for you? A way to feel you had some control in a chaotic life (at least how you perceived it to be).
Also a way to escape from getting to know people, people who had hurt you, people who had shunned you, turned away, not wanting to be your friend. So you decided not to have any friends, was that it? It was easier to say you were busy then to step out and meet others. But, and I’m just letting you know now, you want those friendships. You need those friendships. Step out and have some fun. Meet others. Get out of your orderly little box, leave the clothes on the floor, the bed unmade, the dishes in the sink. Take your hubby’s hand and go away for the day, every weekend if you can. Live. Love. Life. And Laugh. You must laugh, a lot.
I hope I have helped you. I hope, in some small way, you will take these suggestions to heart. Go out, have fun, live a messy and chaotic life.
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(Picture source: awomansbusiness.org)