This is my truth
Today’s post is one of the most honest I have ever written. I wrote it as a stream of consciousness, straight from my heart.
I let out what I was really thinking without the fear and boundaries I so often put up, or are afraid to go beyond.
Which is really what the post is all about.
As part of developing my gift of writing, I was challenged today to share something dangerous with you.
So here I am.
Being honest.
The Honest Truth
I want to be free.
Free to explore God and my relationship with Jesus without being bounded by theological rules or boundaries.
Free to think dangerously.
Free from the box of faith.
I’m tired of religious and legalistic boundaries, which seem to either limit or misrepresent the God I love and worship. I want to go beyond them, to delve deeper into the mystery and the unknown of God, so I can know Him better.
I desire to be free to ask complex and difficult questions and discuss them without fear of consequence.
Isn’t that what faith is? Taking a risk and trusting God will take care of you?
I am committed to exploring and discovering more of God, developing my relationship with Jesus and to grow in intimacy with Him.
I am passionate about using the gift I have to share my heart with others and point them towards the divine. To create a space for people to explore difficult questions without fear, and show people that the digital realm is not virtual, not fake, not a figment of our imagination, but real. To help people navigate and understand the digital realm better, and to use it to show people more of the divine.
All this will mean going beyond the religious, rule-based, theological boundaries I have in my mind, that religion has set out for me. Being willing to unpopular with some people, and accepting there are those who will not agree.
I want to discuss the questions we don’t dare ask ourselves for fear of being labelled or perceived as a heretic. Knowing I ask those questions merely because I desire to go deeper with the divine.
I want to ask dangerous questions and maybe suggest some difficult answers, without having to give a definitive answer.
To be free to doubt, without being compelled to doubt.
I want to learn to fear God properly and help others to as well. I want all of us to be free of the terror of the Lord. I don’t want anyone’s motivation for following Jesus to be simply that if they don’t they’re doomed to eternal punishment.
To me that isn’t God at all.
The God I worship is one of infinite and unconditional love, grace and mercy. A God who has reconciled all things to Himself through the death and resurrection of Jesus.
A God of perfect justice and truth, who wants us to be proactive in how we follow Him.
A God who wants us to be disciples, to take initiative, not just sit back and consume Him. Who wants us to explore, discover and ask questions. Who wants to directly engage with us.
Who created us and wants us all to create, to bring something new into the world that is uniquely ours, in whatever field we are gifted in.
A God who wants to make His kingdom a reality right here, right now and use us as the tools.
A God without boundaries other than His nature. Not limited by scripture, religion, rules, institutions or human minds.
Jesus is bigger.
God is bigger.
I owe it to God and myself to explore these things. I have been a coward for way too long. Run away too often. It’s time for me to change.
To go into a journey into the unknown with my creator alongside me. Trusting He will take care of me.
Are you interested in joining me?
James, you echo what’s in my heart. Thank you. I too feel that the Church is losing focus on having a real relationship with God and getting bogged down in dogma and judgement and all sorts of other fun stuff. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for writing this.
You have the right to follow your freedom and choose your path. I’m with you. Truth is liberating. We need to stop worshipping God out of fear and do it from our hearts, because we believe, because we WANT to.
May our hearts be free and our souls be filled.
Otiti, thank you. It’s good to hear that I’m not alone in having these sentiments. Hope you continue to discover more of God and wish you well on your journey. Be blessed.
Thanks for sharing, JP.
James: Beautiful post. Really. FROM. THE. HEART. Loved it.
Many of your comments are EXACTLY why my family attends Granger Community Church. We are so blessed to have this great church in our backyard. If you ever get a chance to check it out, do so. You can find them at http://www.gccwired.com.
Thanks for your comment Michael, really encouraging. Had a look at the website for your church, if I’m ever in that part of the world will definitely check it out.
Thanks again, JP.
This is great! There is such fire and passion to pursue Christ! He loves to make that head knowledge heart knowledge. One of my favorite quotes “…the uncertainties in life that demand faith, that is where adventure lies…” Cheers to you, and your new adventures! He does not disappoint!
You might be interested in my friend’s blog, btw: http://carsontclark.com/
Thanks for commenting Rachel and for your encouragement, it’s really good to hear. I love that quote as well, fantastic.
Thanks again, JP.
http://goo.gl/J3Lj1
[…] living,Testimony,Unseen,Writing with 0 Comments Last week I posted arguably the most brutally honest post I’ve ever published. I laid bare my heart for this blog, for my writing and for God. I exposed […]
[…] This is My Truth […]
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Great, honest post. I too want to be free to develop my relationship with God and Jesus. A friend sent me a book which has helped me. It’s “Searching for God Knows What” by Donald Miller
Thanks for your comment Julie – great to hear you are on that same journey. That’s a great book that’s been sent to you – Donald Miller is a great writer, I’d recommend all his books.
Thanks again for commenting. JP.
Hello
James,
I
like and relate to your post, though I have to say that the freedom you speak
of wanting was always there. Being able to express our thoughts without fear of
confrontation or rejection does require courage and practice. I see it as part
of our spiritual journey and something we need to embrace in order to grow; it
also encourages others around us to do the same by setting a positive example.
The consequences of expressing our thoughts are far
outweighed by the benefits of embracing, expressing and exploring these thoughts as part of our spiritual
journey. I wish you well my friend. Best Regards, Will
Thanks for you comment and your insight Will – I agree it is part of our spiritual journey. For me it feels like it’s only beginning. Thanks for sharing this, really helpful.
Be blessed, JP.
Hello James, your welcome and thank you too. We are all on this journey together, but varying in degrees and distance according to the intensity with which we seek. You have always been a Christian and I had a dramatic conversion just over 4 years ago, saved from a truly dark existence. Yet we both are seeking a deeper relationship, and with relationships comes responsibility. Maybe we can share some thoughts? I’ll keep reading your blog. Here is something of mine:
I
hear and read the views of Christians who have a variety of opinions on the
nature of God; how we should worship and share the gospel. I can only say how I
feel and I believe our God is a God of love, not a God of rules and finger
waving. I know that rules exist, but the urge to impress our Christian ideas on
others should be overwhelmed by the desire to express our Christian compassion
for others. The invitation to share God’s word presents itself from time to
time but the opportunity to share God’s love is always present. If we are
unprepared for either we may end up with neither. Best Regards, Will
Hi James- This post touched my heart as I too in the past have struggled with letting go of the constraints placed upon me by me – in allowing Religion to dictact and water down the gift he’s given me in an effort not to offend anyone – but no more I will Honor God by doing his will whether some are offended or not. So I’ve adoopted a new motto – Honesty isn’t always pretty but it’s always pretty necessary!!! Love this post.. Keep writing & exploring and sharing the good news.
Thanks Tonya, this comment was really encouraging to me – perfect timing. Thank you so much for sharing it, and love that new motto & might even use it myself. Keep reading too, as there’s a lot more of my journey I’ll be sharing in the coming months.
Be very blessed, JP.
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love it James 🙂 Really awesome post…thanks for sharing your heart!
James this is beautifully written. I will happily join you…
THis line especially drew me in, to where I am “I want to learn to fear God properly “
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