Posts Tagged ‘Grief’
Lost & Found : How I Lost A Parent & Found My Faith
I’ve found myself at a major crossroads recently. I love Jesus. I love our church community. I’m rediscovering the Bible. I’m finding myself experiencing the spirit of God in a much deeper way.
And yet, I find myself shifting away from the evangelical church. I am less able to experience God or connect with Him in the ways I have in the past.
I used to believe in a God of certainty. Now I believe in a God of mystery.
And why? Because of the darkest day of my life.
Read MoreAfraid? Today Can Be Different
I’ll be honest, something in me panics every time I have to step out and do something on my own, without approval, without knowing the answers, without control, without training.
Every. Single. Time.
Usually, my response is excess panic, emotion, stress, anxiety, fear, thinking a million steps ahead, thousands of ‘what ifs’, jumping all the steps straight to the result, pulse rate going into emergency mode, adrenaline pumping, rational thought gone, mind clouded, stress levels growing.
All together in my body in less than 10 seconds.
This panic is basically what stops me from being the best version of myself.
And it all comes from fear.
Read MoreSeasons & Burnout: 3 Reasons To Take A Break
Someone once said there is a time for everything in life. A time to live, a time to die. A time to work, and a time for rest.
Life is lived in seasons. And this is reflected in the life cycle of the world we all live in.
We see it through the year, from the death, cold and snow of winter to the greenery, light and life of summer. We were designed to live in seasons.
And in life, when a season comes to an end, we lament, we grieve, but then we take what we learned, and move into the next.
Right now, in my life and work, I sense a season ending. And it’s time to lay it down and begin again.
Intertwined with the concept of seasons, is the idea of work and rest. And rest is equally important as work. Whatever culture might say, being busy is not something to be proud of.
Read MoreThe Oxygen Of Solidarity
I hadn’t planned on posting something by myself today. I did have another guest post lined up – which you’ll now see next Monday. You see, this morning something happened which changed my plans. An experience, a story, I knew I had to share with you today.
As I write, it’s 7.26am on a cold Monday morning, three days before Christmas. I can hear the rustling of the wind outside, the quiet hollows of a force so much more powerful. But this force of nature feels as nothing right now, against the power of the many noiseless but resounding voices of support I’m feeling through social media.
The oxygen of solidarity. Shining a glimmer of hope.
And I understand in an instant the power of two of the most powerful words in the universe:
“Me Too.”
Read MoreThe Courage Of Authentic Writing
The flashing line. He sits there, in front of me. Every time I stop typing, he’s there. Waiting for me to type another letter. This flash only stops when I give in to the demand for words. And only by turning off my computer, and indeed my phone and tablet, can I avoid it completely.
But sometimes we just sit. We wait. With a white screen in front of us, and just a line.
Flashing. Waiting. Teasing and taunting us.
Many of us don’t write because we think we have nothing to say. Or we think what we do have to say doesn’t matter, or won’t be good enough, or people will think is ridiculous.
But other times, in fact, more than we’d care to admit, we don’t write because we’re scared.
In fact, we’re terrified.
Read MoreLife Can Kill Us…But Sometimes We Must Laugh
Last year I was on holiday in Malta with two friends. We were on the bus home from one of our days out. It was an open top bus, and lovely weather, so we sat on top at the front.
Now, two days before, I’d got out the bus on another trip, and tripped over the curb, landing flat on my face. So we were, in light of this, having a chat about my clumsiness.
I was trying to argue this event was a one off, and I wasn’t clumsy. My friends insisted I was. It was all in jest of course, but nevertheless I was adamant I wasn’t clumsy. I was moving to the edge of my chair, making my point strongly and articulately. I was right in the middle of making my argument, when the bus ran over a huge bump in the road.
I fell forward, straight onto the floor of the bus, head into the lap of my friend.
And we all started laughing. Me possibly hardest of all.
Because if you can’t laugh, then you’ll never be able to deal with life. If you take life seriously all the time, you’ll be crushed.
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