Why You Need a Rollercoaster Season
When you ride a roller-coaster, and your entire body is strapped in tight, you are completely safe. There’s no getting you out of that roller-coaster. You don’t need to hold on.
However, I don’t know about you, but when it comes over the brow of the highest point of the ride, my first inclination is to hold on tight. I don’t need to hold on, but I do.Because it makes me feel safe. Holding on tight somehow this gives me control over my safety.
But to get the most joy out of these rides, I need to let go. Wave my hands in the air as the ride descends from the highest heights. It’s totally counter-intuitive, but it’s the only way to fly. And when you do it, you feel alive.
Life is very similar. We think holding on tight to what we have is the way to keep moving forward. We feel safe. We feel more in control.
But the key to personal growth doesn’t come from holding on tight. It comes from letting go.
Surrender is what leads to growth.
The day before I wrote the first draft of this post, I blogged publicly for the first time for 3 months. It was a surreal feeling. It almost felt like the first time. And the response was overwhelming, so positive & encouraging. I’ve been back over a month now, and I can safely say it’s a very different experience than before. Less pressurised. Less intense. Less of a burden. And no longer a duty, or an attempt to people please.
Taking a break, laying this thing down, surrendering it, has transformed both me and my writing.
And I’m more and more convinced of the power of surrender. Of the roller-coaster season.
I blog now because I love sharing ideas with people, because I love to use my own experiences and reflections to help others grow.
And I get a buzz from hearing how my words have impacted others.
Lessons Learned
I’ve had some wonderful response since I came back. All of them have served to reinforce both the rightness of my decision to take a break, and to come back. And my instinctive responses to these encouragements has also given me hope.
One in particular which impacted me was from writer friend who follows my blog. They said to me they wanted to share a post with their family, as it has made such a difference to them.
Honestly, I was taken aback.
In the past I’ve dealt with this kind of thing badly. I’ve over-reacted and got carried away. My identity was so tied into success, I took compliments like this way too well – I began to fantasise about my writing career, my future success, and indulge in my awesomeness.
In short, I’ve acted like an ass. And usually, I was very quickly humbled.
But this time I didn’t. My priorities had changed. I’ve redefined success now. Success is when I publish a post or a book, when one person tells me my writing has helped them. And the feeling I got hearing these responses confirmed this wasn’t just words – but that this transformation had actually happened.
God has changed my heart. I’m a different person. Because I chose to surrender. (you can tweet that)
Sometimes, you need to give up something you love. Even if it’s just for a season. To choose what I call the ‘roller-coaster season’.
And here’s four reasons why:
1) Surrender exposes your priorities
Letting go of blogging and writing for a while exposed the fact I was making public approval, status, and success a priority. My identity was too tied to my writing success, and people’s opinion of me as a writer. And I only discovered this by letting go.
2) Surrender reminds you you’re already enough
Giving up public blogging, this thing I’d done to impress, to perform, to be important, meant I was no longer getting approval from those people. I had to look inside of myself, and I eventually began to understand I was already enough, as I am now.
Even if no one ever read my writing, it didn’t matter. I understood finally I was enough already. Other people’s opinions are almost irrelevant.
3) Surrender can help you rediscover your passion
My time away from public blogging was great. It became so freeing to be able to just write for myself. I had a whale of a time. Writing became fun again. I was writing for the love of writing, and no other reason.
The reason I came back, was because inside of me I felt stirring up this sense of wanting to help others with my gift. To stop just writing for me, and put my gift to use. And even if it helped one other person, that was enough.
I’m excited to share more reflections from this season now, because I actually believe they can help people. I’m excited about sharing more about grace not because I have a book on the subject coming out but because it’s a subject I care about, and I have a message to share which I believe can help people.
I’ve rediscovered by passion, and I did this by letting go. By choosing the roller-coaster season.
4) Whatever The Result, You’ll Be Okay…& Fully Alive
Whatever happens as a result of this surrender, you’re going to be okay. Because if what you let go of is really part of the life God has for you, then it’s going to be there when you come back. And if it’s not, chances are it’s because in your time away you’ve discovered a new calling, a new passion.
And whatever happens, taking the roller-coaster path will make you feel alive like never before. Letting go of my public blogging made me feel free, like a huge weight had been lifted. No obligation to anyone else. No pressure to perform. I could just write whatever I wanted, at my own pace, free of agenda and strategy. I’ve never felt so alive.
There might be ups and downs in the roller-coaster path, but you’ll be free in a way you never imagined possible.
Whatever your gift, your calling, or your passion, whatever it is you love, you need to be a place where you would be willing to give it up. If you can’t let something go, it’s most likely become an idol. It’s become your god. And that’s not healthy at all.
So sometimes, for a season, take the roller-coaster path. You’ll rediscover your passion – or even a new one. You’ll be reminded you’re already enough. You’ll have clarity about your journey which you’ve not had before. And whatever happens, you’ll be okay, and you’ll be alive.
In fact, you may find, like me, a sabbatical is part of the calling.
And you’ll be transformed as a result.
Are you with me?
Some Questions For Reflection:
Do you agree about the importance of surrender?
Is there anywhere in your life you’re holding on too tight & need to let go of for the season?
What steps can you take to choose a roller-coaster season of life?
Let me know in the comments below!
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Picture Source: Compfight
I love this post, James— thank you. Fabulous analogy, too. At this stage in life, I’ve become fairly decent at analyzing my true motives, and I don’t try to fool myself anymore when they prove to be less than admirable. Several swift kicks in the arse by life usually keeps it real. 🙂
Thanks Elise. Really glad the post resonated you, and thanks for the encouragement.
James ~
This post resinates with me in so many ways that I could write my own book just in response to this one post, and I just might, as your words lately have taken me to this place of where I am and how I got here through my own journey. As much inner struggle and cognitive dissonance some of the places we are brought to bring us, I wonder if we did NOT go through them, if we would truly understand the depths of the other side, when we have learned who we really are and why. For this reason, we can be grateful for the brokenness.
Love this.
Shari 🙂
Wow, thanks so much Shari – so humbled by this response, and how much this post has impacted you. Makes it all worthwhile. I agree that we are a make up of our own journeys, including all of the suffering, setback, pain and grief. I am currently planning a post about this very topic in the context of my own past (broken home, losing a parent), and relation to C.S.Lewis words about suffering too. I consider myself blessed to have been through what I did, not that I would choose it. But it has shaped me. So we can be grateful for our brokenness. Look forward to reading more about this on your blog, and in your book. Humbled to be such an inspiration to someone.
Surrender is an easy word to use but an action difficult to swallow. It usually denotes a form of failure but from the ashes, like a phoenix, success can arise.
Yes, totally Bob, completely agree. Thanks for sharing.
Love the roller coaster analogy. The other thing we do – at least as kids, when we don’t know why we shouldn’t, is we scream and laugh (even if we are holding on tight) through the freakishly scare parts… Sometimes we have to remember to be carefree like we were when we were kids. Great post james!
Thanks Lisa Jey – literally came up with the analogy about an hour before I posted, changed the post completely. Totally agree how we need to remember to be carefree a lot more, it’s so easy to forget. Thanks for the comment!
Excellent post, James. Although most in the writing/publishing industry today would say to take even a week long blogging break is counter-intuitive, I believe such breaks are necessary at times. I once took a 40 day blogging break and my readers were there when I returned. The time away helped me to focus, reflect, and seek God for direction.
I agree that we often measure success in the wrong way, but you are right if one person is reached by our words it’s good.
Thanks Joan, completely agree with you – so important to take breaks regularly. The concept of sabbath has sadly been lost in our consumer culture. Glad your break worked for you too. Thanks for the comment!
I absolutely understand. And I want to share this You Tube video with you. I watch it every time I am scheduled to be on the worship team at church/in front of others.
For King and Country
The Proof of your Love
An inside look
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G727HGETcs8
Thanks for sharing this Mel!
Such a good post, James! And so true! I’ve found that the harder we try to hold onto something the quicker it slips through our grasp. In the immortal words of Elsa sometimes the best thing to do is to “let it go.”
Thanks, James!
Thanks Chad, appreciate it! So glad the post spoke to you 🙂
I like the idea of surrendering. Though you need to have a tough skin as it opens you up to so many criticisms, well intentioned or not. Nice post.
Thanks Elyse, and agree, you definitely need a tough skin!
I’m not sure how I feel about this. While you can let go on a roller coaster, the feeling that you are either holding on or letting go in that situation is an illusion. What you do is irrelevant – you’re held by forces beyond your control.
It reminds me of white-water canoeing, a sport I enjoy with my younger son. I initially struggled with it and ditched multiple times during training, until I figured out that I’ll never be strong enough to overcome a fast-flowing river. So I stopped trying to fight it, and instead began working with it to get to where I wanted to go. I recognized the superior power of the river. Did I surrender? I’m not sure. I still managed to get across, to a quiet, calm eddy where I could figure out my next step, and now I’m on dry land again. So maybe we’re talking about the same thing.
Yes I think we are Scott – totally get where you’re coming from. Thanks for your comment, really insightful.
This reminds me of Luke 9: And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.” You must surrender your life to God….let go and he will transform you.
Spot on Tara, totally agree – great comment and powerful verse.
Writers tend to get down when they don’t hear from readers about how much their work is appreciated. I know that happens to me. It’s probably because we sit alone in a room with our computer and wonder if we’re valuable to anyone. Years ago when I was trying to get a publisher to accept my work, I got depressed. My sister (who is a psychologist) asked me, “Do you write to earn money or because you enjoy writing?” My first answer was that I enjoy writing. So why does it matter that we’re not getting rich? It seems that we fail if we’re not rewarded. Is it true?
When a reader comes up out of nowhere and tells you how much they love your books (or blog) it’s like getting a surprise birthday party. The heart fills with joy. When we receive a glowing review, it’s much the same. That’s one reason I write reviews for books I enjoy, I need to give that writer support. It’s important. Today, I stopped to buy dog food from the vet’s office and the nurse asked if I’m working on a new book and she looks forward to reading it. What a nice present.
I took the 4th of July weekend off and vegged out on television. It was resting my brain and making me eager to delve into my WIP again. Do whatever it takes to recharge. Accept those “presents” from readers and feel valuable. You are.
Absolutely Diane, totally agree. A great comment, thanks.
Sounds familiar to me; every time my wife and I ventured far out into the ocean on our small sailboat, we surrendered on various levels. Being forced to live in the moment to live at all is quite liberating.
Yes, definitely Charles. Thanks. 🙂
Well dang! I thought this was going to really be about how fun roller coasters are! LOL!!! JUST KIDDING!!! I loved this. The roller coaster analogy is a great example. We are programmed from centuries of evolution to that “fight or flight” mechanism. We have that “survival” instinct that causes us to cling, clutch, scrape, grab… whatever… And I suppose if we are feeling like our livelihood or success is being threatened, the fight or flight mechanism could be a natural thing…. Hmmm… Great thoughts James!
Thanks so much for this comment Lisa Jey – so glad you liked the post, and the metaphor, and thanks for the encouragement!
Yes, this post resonates with me, as well, James. It sort of reminds me of something I read last night about the importance of relaxing and getting more done as a consequence, or “work smarter not harder” — certainly what originally began as an adventure and fun can become a chore. I find that taking a break from social media altogether is freeing. As well as cell phones, computers, and TV. I don’t own a TV set or functioning cell phone, but am overly attached to my computer, I admit. And my new blog is presently fun, but I’ve let the old one find its own way. Sadly in many ways. Thank you for this post.
Great comment Kenna, thanks for sharing so honestly, and totally agree with you. So glad the post was helpful, thanks for the encouragement!
LIFE is like a roller coaster. and those who can learn to respond well in the valleys as well as in the peaks, well… they’ll be the most balanced and happiest, I believe. Keep going James! 🙂
You know… that opening of the arms and full surrender? It’s awesome. And even at that, most of us just suck at it. Keep moving forward. It may be a roller coaster, but if you’re still moving forward, you’re doing good!!!