Why Writing Always Exposes The Truth
In the age of social media we allegedly bare more of ourselves than ever before. The digital realm has allegedly stripped us bare, naked. Exposed like someone standing on the street stark naked. And yet, whilst it’s true we share more of ourselves on line than ever before, I would argue we are still as protective of our true selves as we always have been.
It’s argued that our digital self, the self we portray online, on our Facebook and Twitter profiles, is an idealised reflection of our conscious self. But it goes deeper than that.
As Peter Rollins argues, our conscious self is often an idealised reflection of who we truly are. And many of us can begin to think that’s our true selves.
But it’s not.
It’s a reflection of who we want people to think we are.
I have rarely interacted with people online where I have sensed the person I am talking to is displaying their complete selves. The only people I feel like I’m being authentic with online (and it person, to be honest), are close friends and a select few others, in some Facebook groups and on Twitter.
And I see this with people’s writing too.
Many writers write as if they want to project an image of the type of person they want people to think they are. Even the stories of their mistakes are ones which are shared to make them ‘fully human’ and ‘just like the rest of us’. They share insights, 5 step plans to success and they tweet in a conversational way.
But they aren’t being totally honest.
However, they aren’t deceiving us.They are deceiving themselves.
Because many of these writers actually believe they are this person they are promoting themselves as.
The Authentic Writer
There are other writers though, where I see authenticity. Where I see people baring their soul. Not being afraid to be brutal about their darkness. Sharing the words which might upset people and push them away, telling their story in all it’s monstrous truth. They hide little, they are brutal about their conflicts, fears and doubts.
These writers aren’t bothered who reads or doesn’t read their work. They are only interested in sharing their story. Of course, there are some stories so intimate, or so grotesque and unspeakable, we probably shouldn’t share them publicly, unless we really feel convicted to.
However, ultimately all writing speaks truth. You just need to look for it. (you can tweet that)
Paradoxically, even writers who don’t expose themselves give away a lot about their hearts. It shows how afraid they are to share the truth about themselves. It exposes the fear deep inside that someone will find out just how messed up they really are, how scared they might be to confront the truth of who they are.
Because writing always exposes the truth.
Even writers who are brutal with the truth still hold something back. There are always parts of our story we don’t disclose.
And sometimes, this is totally appropriate.
There are parts of our story we should only share with those closest to us. It’s how it should be.
But the difference is these writers are being as honest as they can be. They aren’t writing to impress, to perform, to get good SEO, to get stats or make money. They are writing to share their story, maybe even to help others, to get what is inside out.
Ultimately, there will always be parts we hide. But at the very least, we need to be honest with ourselves. As writers, but also as human beings.
Because it’s only when we’re honest with ourselves, that we can be fully alive.
As a writer I want to be as honest as I can. I don’t want to lie – either to you or to myself.
My life is a mess much of the time. I have moments where I wonder what I’m actually doing, those moments where everything in my mind looks like a tornado has hit it, and strewn my feelings, thoughts and experiences all over the place. Where the facade of having my life together is exposed as a fallacy.
So if you’re a writer, aspire to be an authentic one.
And whether you’re a writer or not, learn to be more honest, with others, but above all with yourself.
Because it’s in the truth, we discover life.
Question for Reflection:
How honest are you with yourself about who you are, both in life & in your work?
Let me know in the comments below!
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Picture Source: JamesPrescott.co.uk/Online Source
Interesting thoughts for Christian poets & writers, James, so I’ll highlight your post on the Christian Poets & Writers blog – http://christianpoetsandwriters.blogspot.com. God bless.
Thanks so much Mary, that means a lot to me. Thanks for doing that, and glad the post was helpful.
“Many writers write as if they want to project an image of the type of person they want people to think they are.” This is very true for me! Case in point: Ms. Cheevious vs. the Lisa Jey Davis blog – you wouldn’t necessarily know they were one in the same person!
Yep, definitely Lisa, completely agree – great metaphor. 🙂
Great comments on the writing life, James! Thanks for the reminder to be honest, but allow certain things to stay hidden where they belong. To follow the conviction to share or not to share. 🙂
Thanks Erika, glad the post resonated with you 🙂
This is interesting. In some of my tales, you’re right, the protagonist is a reflection of a super hero version of me. In other books, I’ve been asked if I were “taking out my demons on someone.” I find that in writing, I can expose my feelings in different ways. And online, you’re right, it is a persona when you haven’t met people. Maybe on one group you’re the funny one, the smart one, the quirky one. Social media allows us to have a lot of different personas and like you, it’s my friends, family and people on certain social groups who honestly know me – and not just through my writing… nice post.
Thanks Elyse, so glad the post resonated with your experiences. Totally agree with your comments too. Great response.
I’m sure we reveal ourselves through our writing but not always see it. My characters “talk” to me all the time, demanding their story get told.
Most definitely. Thanks for the comment Diane – interesting to see how this works out in fiction writing as well.
How honest am I? I try to tell my true feelings, but as you say, not about everything. Sometimes it’s for privacy reasons, but mostly for the story. You don’t put EVERYTHING into a story. Not even George RR Martin does that.
No, absolutely Scott, we never put our entire selves out there for all to see – but I would argue whatever we share, whatever we create, reveals something about us. Good or bad.
Love this–totally agree. I think fear, cultural norms and vulnerability come in to play here. However, when someone live Tweets the birth of a child, that just feels creepy to me–like I shouldn’t be included in that, you know?
Thanks Jim, appreciate it. Glad you agree. I know what you mean about the birth of a child – if I ever have children I might tweet a picture of me and the baby, or our family, however, and share on FB. But not every intimate detail. But I get your point totally. Great comment.
Like a flashlight shining into a box, it will light it up completely but still, there are shadows and secrets still not revealed. Great post. I attempt to be me but some people just can believe that the me I project is the real me and yet, as you stated, I don’t display all my secrets. I think we all need to maintain some mystery.
Yes, I totally agree Bob, we do. But the deeper point I was trying to make is that whether we consciously disclose truth or not, all our writing says something about us, and conveys some truth about who we are.
I just read this on Medium and wanted to comment. I feel as though in my writing I am completely authentic. In my humorous stories about my life, “Humorous Life Lessons” I laugh at myself and invite others to laugh with me. In my serious posts “The Fort Leavenworth Story” to leave anything out would detract from the message of God’s grace. So I have laid it all out there, bare and bleeding. Great post as usual. You have a gift.
Wow, thanks so much for this kind comment David – your encouragement means so much. So great the post resonated with you, and you’re being truly authentic with your writing. Thanks again.