Unlocking The Tsunami Of Words
Here I sit. In the coffee house. Drinking a strawberry smoother. And yet, I am in the midst of a battle. A battle to write.
Each single letter which proceeds from my iPhone keyboard is a victory. Every sentence is one more success. Every paragraph celebrated.
Sometimes my insides are dead. There seems nothing left in the well of my soul. There is a vacancy, an emptiness.
In these moments, it feels like I may never find the words again.
But I know also in those moments I am compelled to engage in battle. I need to overcome the demon of resistance. To go to war with this emptiness. Almost to refuse it.
To sit and wait for letters to fall out, words to form and paragraphs to to be pieced together like a big jigsaw. And eventually, what began as a drip of water in an endless desert, becomes a stream, then a torrent, then a tsunami of words pouring forth, spewing over the page – or my phone, in this case. Unleashed to do their work, without prejudice or fear.
And they never end. They create new streams, new rivers of themes, ideas, and possibilities, which will remain open as long as they are unexplored.
The journey is just beginning.
Many posts remain unwritten. They are lost. Not dried up, simply forgotten.
Many are explored, devoured, consumed by the hunger to write, to explore my soul, to delve deeper into this almost divine mystery of my mind, my heart, my very being.
All writing is part of me, even the words I never write. Even the pieces which I write in my mind but never appear on a page, for whatever reason. Time, boredom, tiredness, fear or a simple lack of access to anything to write them with.
I know eventually the desert will appear again. The tsunami will seem a mirage. Words will be tied with ache. Getting letters out will be like trying to move a big lorry with my bare hands.
Painful. Dirty. Aching. Almost impossible.
But each time I know I must go back. Obey the muse. Force open the floodgates.
It is almost an act of faith. Because I never know if the words will come. And even scarier, I know not what words could come if I do unlock it.
What Lies Within?
Who knows what words lay deep within me. What emotions. What thoughts. What stories. What pain.The fear of breaking resistance is almost the same as the fear of giving into it. But words are what I have. They are both my gift and my curse, like all gifts are. The window to my soul, occasionally beneficial to others, sometimes to myself, but often painful and terrifying.
I love writing. And I sometimes fear writing. But writing is part of me. I can’t not write. It’s not just a calling, it’s not just a passion, it’s a compulsion. Almost an exorcism.
I’m sure I’m not alone in feeling that.
This piece didn’t begin with any plan. I began this journey with no roadmap, and although I keep trying to end it, the tsunami has taken over, I am going places I didn’t know I could.
Now I feel afraid to stop. Both intrigued and afraid at the same time, to see what more comes out. The door is open. The desert is flooding.
Which streams will I follow?
If you are a writer, which of your streams will you follow? Will you dare to put your finger on that keyboard, type another letter, another word, another paragraph?
Do you dare to explore what might be living inside of you, in the depths of your soul? (you can tweet that)
It’s the blessing and curse of the writer. The muse demands we explore the depths, to pour out our souls for the benefit of others.
We are merely participants, dancing with the muse, and engaging with it so that the world might hear our words.
Are you ready to explore your hidden depths?
The journey is just beginning.
Question for Reflection:
Have you struggled to explore the depths to create great work & serve others?
What can you do today to take the first steps on this journey?
Let me know in the comments below!
To lessen the agony most poets and writers feel at one time or another, I pray a lot!
Praying definitely helps, always! Thanks Mary.
Honestly, the days it’s just too hard to write, where I can’t find words, the muse, and the fear of writing sub-par work overwhelms me, well, I just put it down for a day or two. The need always pulls me back, but I give myself permission to take a break.
Absolutely Elyse, actually next week I’ll be blogging about that very issue – the importance of rest, in writing and in life.
I have good days but most days it is a struggle to get each word onto the screen. Good entry.
Thanks Bob, glad you liked it and that it resonated.
You write on your cell phone?!!! That alone impresses me. I can hardly text. 🙂 Beautifully written and expressed, as usual. I find writing extremely difficult. Writing a first draft usually has my stomach in perpetual knots. No, I don’t love it, though I am compelled to keep on with it. I wish I could be more laid back during the process, but the perfectionist in me won’t allow it. However, there are those moments where it all comes together, and just flows. Those moments are like releasing a pent up breath, and fuels my being completely.
Thanks Elise, yes, writing on my cell phone has become a regular habit. Thanks for sharing a bit of your struggle here, appreciate it, and definitely resonates at times. Thanks.
I said this before (literally) and I’ll say it again… Stop the presses… You WRITE from your iPHONE? I am impressed!!! But also – no wonder every letter is a struggle. LOL!!! Just kidding. Writing is my passion, but it’s true, we can’t just turn it on if it’s just not there. It appears you’ve found the ability to get it done for this post though – and it’s a great one! I always find it’s easier to get the job done (when things are tough) by putting together an outline of what you think you’d like to write. Sometimes that gets the creativity going!
Yep, definitely do write on my iPhone – quite often actually! Thanks for the comment & glad the post resonated. I do put together outlines, but more often for books than blog posts, though it has been known! Thanks again.
Beautifully written. Yes, sometimes each word is a struggle, and sometimes, once we open the floodgates, they seem to flow faster than we can catch them. And I too am impressed that you do your writing on an iphone! If my pc or laptop isn’t available, then it’s pen and paper for me…
Thanks Mirel, appreciate your kind words. Glad the post resonated with you – and yes, always have something to hand to write with, you never know when inspiration will come. 🙂
I’m impressed that you write on your phone! When I write fiction I use a notepad, but everywhere else I have to use my computer. Well said, sir!
Thanks Nicole, appreciate it. Yes, many people seem to be surprised I write on my phone! I think it’s what works for each of us, and I have my phone on me a lot. I do a lot of writing on my laptop however, don’t get me wrong. I just use my phone a lot too. Thanks for commenting!
I try not to stress about writing – you know, the “holy cow, what if that’s it and I’ve written my last word?” I just let life and my muse take their course.
There’s definitely something in that philosophy Elyse, thanks for sharing!
I have learned that my writing doesn’t stream well if I’m not feeding my soul. If I’m not in some sort of bible study, self-help book or spending much time in prayer the well runs dry. I’m 95% left brained. I often tell people I have to pray before I write, so God will activate the other side! 😉
Absolutely Nichole – we must feed our souls to create truly original, great work. Great comment!
If you can write productively on your phone, you have more skills than you give yourself credit for. Ignore the doubts, and tell your story.
Thanks Scott – your comments are always so encouraging, appreciate it!
My friend journals every single morning. It is as necesary to her as breathing. Sometimes a blog emerges and other times simply thoughts on a page. Then she is free to join the rest of the world.
I love journal-type writing, it’s so liberating, and very theraputic. Plus, it gets ideas out, which can become something which might help others. Thanks for this comment Onisha.
Interesting thoughts here. Following ONE of the streams of a writer’s mind. An intriguing concept. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for your encouragement Bob – always appreciate your comments. 🙂
Nice post, James. And like several others, I’m amazed that you write on your phone. I sometimes edit on mine, but I’ve never tried writing on it. Do you use an external keyboard? On a different level, does that tiny blank screen look more intimidating than a larger one? Or less? Do you find it different from writing on a computer?
Thanks Charles – I use my iphone, just on the touchscreen. I don’t do all my writing on it by any means, but for journalling, for stream of consciousness stuff and random ideas, it’s awesome. It is different writing on a phone – somehow feels more intimate, more private in some ways. In many ways a bigger screen is better, but in others, a small one is fine. It’s weird, I seem to love both.
I can barely text on my phone…can’t imagine writing on it, good for you!
Thanks Tara, appreciate it!
I eat gummy bears when I struggle to write. I know at least one other creative type who does the same. There must be something in the chewing. 🙂
Great point. I sometimes get ideas when I eat – maybe it’s the same part of the brain or something. Thanks for commenting!
Great questions to ask James… and it’s intriguing to think about really getting into those deep places beneath the surface and bring it up through our words… hmmm….
Thanks Lisa Jey, and agree, really great to go deep underneath our words…
I have so many stories in my mind. The challenge is to focus on one at a time and work on it until it’s done. I need to have classical music playing in my ear buds, a cup of coffee by my side and no interruptions. It’s a hard combination to achieve, so the only way I can do it is to get up early and write while the rest of the family sleeps.
Thanks for sharing this Scott – yep, totally appreciate where you’re coming from here. Great comment, as ever.
Reviewing this once more, I realize that deep inside me I discovered a new genre in which to write. I love science fiction, fantasy, horror and adventure/thriller – and I write in those genres. But, deep down inside me, there was a story I had to tell. It surfaced and it seems I may have found my genre. Christian. My latest story is selling like hotcakes – not so much on Amazon, but I can’t keep it in local stores and I’m constantly selling copies out of the trunk of my car. I’ve had to order it 3 times now. Thanks for sharing.
Wow, that’s awesome Bob – so glad this post was helpful, really excited for you – thanks for the encouragement.
Usually, it’s my characters that lead the way.
Same here. If the characters aren’t feeling chatting or adventurous it can be a long day at the keyboard. They don’t like to talk to me when I’m stressed out either. 🙂
Interesting stuff Julie – many fiction authors seem to say this.
“Almost an exorcism.” I can so relate to that statement. I know that you have some experience with Julia Cameron’s book The Artist’s Way, and these days I have to do my #MorningPages . Each day I do as much stream of consciousness writing at breakfast. It is how I open up that trickle that turns into a stream, and then into the rushing river.
I love the concept of the morning pages, stream of consciousness Lisa – it inspires me so much and gives birth to so many ideas in me. Great comment, thanks.
I think about several stories all the time, often dreaming about them, so I keep a pad of paper by the bed and write down key phrases to remind me of what I dreamed. It helps me get back into that scene but do I always remember everything? Last night I had a nightmare about camping and letting animals get inside the RV. Now I have an idea that I’m not sure I really want to explore. I still wrote my notes. They might help me write a short story.
I’m not sure I’m creating great work that might help others. Then again, I’ve been told by several readers that they appreciate escaping into the world I create and leave their troubles behind for just a little while. Maybe that’s a great work that helps others. It helps me to record the story and get it out of my dreams.
I think your work will help others, and I think it is great work – great work doesn’t have to be the most skilled, or the best selling, great work is authentic, honest, creative work birthed deep within you. That’s our best work, and that’s great work.
As a blogger, it amazes me at times that the words I meant to write become something else entirely. The only constant is that my first sentence usually ends up being the final sentence.
Yes, I find this too Onisha – thanks for this comment!
James, I need to translate your post if possible, to put it on my website. With your mention and the link of your blog. I feel empty because I’m sick so no energy to create but longing for new things and learning more from others. What about it ? Is it possible ? Thank you and wish you the best. Blessings