5 Steps To A More Open Church
As many of you know, the ‘issue’ of sexuality/gender preference and faith is one I am passionate about. I recently ran a series on my blog about LGBT issues and faith, sharing my own story and the story of members of the LGBT community, in order to engage in healthy conversation about this issue, rather than heated debate – which ultimately, leads nowhere.
It’s an ongoing discussion for me, and it’s work I will continue with – both in my writing and in work in my local community.
And, for me, this is not simply about LGBT community – it’s about the kind of church we want to have.
I was recently invited to a conference held at Oasis Waterloo, over two days, called ‘Open Church’. The conference was about the discussion around Christianity and LGBT issues, and building a more welcoming, open church.
It hosted speakers including Vicky Beeching, who came out as a lesbian last year, Andrew Marin, who runs The Marin Foundation in helping church communities build bridges with LGBT groups in their local area, and several others from all perspectives and sides of the issue.
It was a privilege to be there and to see people of all genders, races, sexual preferences and even theological perspectives, sitting together having healthy discussion.
And there were five key issues which stuck out for me – almost 5 key areas we need to address in relation to this issue, and building a more open, inclusive church. So stick with me, and let’s explore these briefly:
1) Incarnation: We can’t possibly understand this issue – or any issue at all – unless we put flesh and blood on it. I lost count of the number of stories I heard where people said they believed the traditional view of homosexuality being ‘sin’. But then one of their best friends, relatives, children, even partners, came out. And it altered their perspective completely.
These people realised they’d believed what they had because they’d been brought up that way, and had never really researched the issue before. When they did, their perspective & understanding of this issue completely changed.
2) Authenticity & grace: Vicky shared how ever since she came out, she has felt more authentic more than ever, and this has liberated her & opened unexpected doors for her.
Because when we own the truth of who we are, and are free to express it without fear, it allows us to be who we were truly created to be.
And this comes down to the root of it all – grace.
Knowing God loves us for who we are, how we are, where we are, and we are all welcome at His table. Churches should be places people can be honest about their sexuality or gender preference without fear.
3) Theology isn’t the issue: There are many of us want to have a big theological debate on this issue. But, for me, debates are purely a way for us to boost our own egos at the same time as putting others down, simply to prove to everyone how right we are. They literally have no purpose, and achieve nothing but division.
Healthy discussion with respect? Yes. But not debate.
4) Let’s build a truly inclusive church: A truly inclusive church, as Andrew Marin said, is not one which simply breaks free from another part of the church it disagrees with and sets up on it’s own. Because by definition they are excluding those they disagree with. And this is what has been going on throughout history, and it causes more and more division.
And it has to stop.
A truly inclusive church is one where all views are welcome, where we can disagree, and surrender our need to be right. (you can tweet that).
Inclusive church is a place where all are able to love, serve and build relationship with one another, and journey in discipleship together, despite disagreements.
Uncomfortable? Yes. Perfect? No. But church is made up of human beings. It will never be perfect.
5) This is a real issue for real people: Many of us write, discuss and tweet about this issue. But when I went to this conference, the vast majority of attendees were members of the LGBT community, with real stories, real experiences, many of whom had suffered real hurt at the hands of Christians and the church. Bottom line, things have to change. Now.
Real people are committing suicide and others are suffering from mental illness, often as a direct result of treatment and prejudice by the church and Christians. This isn’t the fruit of the spirit of God. It’s not love, joy, or peace. It’s despair, depression and death. There has to be change and it begins with us, today, right now.
My Response (& Yours)
So what’s my practical response? To get more involved in my own community building bridges with LGBT groups. To help facilitate the Marin courses in my church which explore this issue. To try and be an example of love, grace, and acceptance in my relationships, my attitude and behaviour – even if I don’t get it right all the time.
And online, my job is to keep on sharing resources to help others on their journey, and keep standing up for the LGBT community.
We need to become a more truly inclusive church, where all are welcome as they are, for who they are, whatever their gender, sexuality, or opinion – without fear or judgement. Where we can disagree but still serve and have fellowship together.
Let us build communities where all boundaries and labels of age, gender, sexual preference, race and all others are forgotten, and we come together to be disciples of Jesus, and serving our communities, and showing them that love and grace.
Change is necessary – and it’s up to all of us to play our part.
Are you with me?
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Question for Reflection:
What can you do to help build a more inclusive church?
Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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(Picture Sources: Oasis/Online Sources)
Yikes James! I’m all for an inclusive church despite my own conservative view on same sex marriage, but the Church has a responsibility to *not* welcome “all views” and to judge between orthodoxy and heterodoxy. This is what spiritual ancestors of ours died in the Roman Arena for. Now, what we judge as orthodox is a different issue, but we need to be careful not just with this topic, but any. Also, you’re right about it being about “grace”, but it’s complicated when one starts talking about sin. We live in a pluralistic society where it’s increasingly difficult to be objective about something, and to be conservative. if indeed there is such thing as sin, then it needs to be taken more seriously than it is, and not passed over because it’s uncomfortable and difficult. I’m not specifically attaching sin to sexual orientation here, but it is one of the main lines of those who are more liberal on this subject – being inclusive and turning a blind eye to what we disagree with… but sometimes, what we agree to disagree on is actually a matter of sin that’s clearly been defined by the church in it’s 2000 year history. OK – this may be the Anglican coming out in me 😛 But it’s an important thing to work through. I believe it’s possible for a gay Christian to be fully included in a Church that takes a conservative line on Same Sex Marriage… but again, someone will disagree with me there because inclusivity is defined by some as being how much one is allowed to do. Difficult!!!
Dean, I have always and continue to respect you and your writing, and your opinions. This, as I’ve always thought, isn’t about this issue, it’s not even about church, it’s about how we view God, and the Bible. Church existed before the institution of church existed, before all the political stuff got involved, with rules, elections, traditions etc. To me, this is about Jesus. It begins with Him and is all about Him.
Bottom line in regards to sin, is we’re all sinners, and it’s not our job to judge or condemn, it’s God’s – and scripture says not only are we all reconciled to Christ (all we need to do is choose to accept what’s already true), but that all in Christ are not condemned, there is no condemnation. I’m interested in living in tune with God’s plan for the world, being human in the way God made us to, living out God’s best for me – and anything which disrupts that is what I’d call ‘sin’. Sin isn’t a legalistic thing for me, black and white, right and wrong, all about doing the right thing so you get blessing or get to heaven when we die. Real transformation doesn’t come that way, because it’s all about rule keeping.
Real transformation comes when you want to become a person of compassion, love, forgiveness, grace, reconciliation, fidelity, not because it’s right, but it’s because it’s the best way to live, the best for our health – spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. It’s how God made us to be, ideally, why would we want to do any different? We do though, because we are living in a world disconnected from God, full of fear.
My point is, that all are welcome – and people will always disagree on theological points. Theological conformity won’t happen, and shouldn’t, because we’re all different, with different perspectives, and because there has to always be mystery, unknown, unexplored, unseen, when it comes to God and our theology. If God is about certainty, about what we know, about keeping the rules, then God is only as big as our brains.
A truly inclusive church, is one where LGBT people feel welcome, feel comfortable being open and honest about their sexuality, and can be close friends even with people who disagree with their opinion on sexuality. Where someone’s sexual preference doesn’t preclude them from serving in church, even in leadership (I’m discounting paedophelia here, to be clear, obviously that act is very clearly sin, and totally different) and they don’t live in fear of being ‘outed’, and aren’t treated differently because of their sexuality, even by those who disagree with their perspective. Where more progressive people don’t judge and condemn those who they feel are less progressive, but allow them to walk their own journey, and love them the same, and where all are invited.
This kind of church is possible. The Christian faith, and the church, is bigger than any denomination or organisation, and always should and will be.
This is definitely an important issue to work through, I completely agree. I disagree with you on the theology, but we’re still friends. Isn’t that so awesome?
An excellent post. With so many questions, hardened attitudes are often coincident with lack of research, thought and facts. Researching any issue, whether it’s sexuality, economics, politics or religion, and learning the empirical facts often brings a more accepting attitude. To me, the lesson here is: learn the facts first, then form your attitude.
Great point and great comment Scott, totally agree.
Christians today seem to have misplaced their understanding of God’s grace and Jesus’ love. I feel that Christian grace and love is the ability to see beyond our narrow view and encompass those who of others. Jesus did not run around with the “right” crowd, but, instead, with men and women of questionable repute. He didn’t try to change them nor did he condemn them, but, He accepted them for what they were. Christians today are quick to point out the flaws of those who don’t fit their criteria. Before we point fingers at others, we should point that finger at ourselves. We are all God’s children and should be accepting of each other as He accepts us. Until Judgment Day when my soul is cleansed and radiant, I must admit to dingy shadows within hollow shell and who am I to judge?
Spot on Bob, as ever, great wisdom. Who are we to judge, absolutely!
Thoughts? http://www.charismanews.com/opinion/in-the-line-of-fire/49589-andy-stanley-was-really-right-and-really-wrong