Why Contentment & Growth are Partners, not Enemies
As many of you will know, I recently had a little sabbatical from social media and writing. And there is one thing I noticed over and again both during my break, and even more so since:
When you’re disconnected from the world, everything takes on a different meaning.
Suddenly, what seemed life or death is revealed for what it really is. And you can stand back, and see how far you have come.
It’s amazing what can happen when we stop and stand away from our lives. (tweet this if you like).
My recent time away allowed me space to see where my own life was. How I was doing. Where I was growing and where I was stagnating. And it allowed me to see how far I had come. Doing this, I was able to gain something invaluable.
Perspective. And this perspective allowed me to stop feeling anxious and worried, and helped me grow in contentment.
Given the benefit of space, I was able to see just how rich my life is.
I have amazing friends and family who love me. A great church. A job. The opportunity to write and serve others. My own home. I am growing and learning all the time.
In other words, I am so, so blessed.
In scripture Paul tells us he’s found the secret of being ‘content whatever the circumstances’. And as I reflected on this, and my life right now, it got me thinking. You see, contentment is not something familiar to me. Throughout my life I’ve been largely anxious, nervous about what’s to come. Once as a child I told my mum I was worried because I didn’t have anything to worry about.
Yes, really.
Not often have I stopped to see where I am or how far I’ve come. I’ve been worried about the future, and often felt I don’t have enough. I’ve looked ahead of me on the path of life and wondered why I’m not keeping up with “everyone else” (by which, I mean my peers).
But now I feel more content. Space has given me this.
However, this inevitably brings with it the comment
“If you’re content, you’re not going to grow”.
It’s a common view, that if you get become content, you will eventually stop growing and life will begin to stagnate.
But it’s not true.
If you think this, you’re making the two mistakes many people – including me in the past – have made:
First, confusing contentment with complacency.
There is a huge difference with being content where you are, and sticking around there. When we are content, we are pleased with where we are. We have a full appreciation of what’s going on in our lives, what we really have, how lucky we are. We value the blessings in our lives.
When we’re complacent, we simply choose to stay there. We think we’re done. We don’t bother trying to move forward with our lives anymore because we make the mistake of assuming there’s no more to go. No more we can achieve.
And this is a huge mistake. Which brings me neatly to the second error I, and many of us have made:
The mistake is the assumption contentment and growth are incompatible – when it fact, it’s the complete opposite. Contentment isn’t an enemy of growth. It’s a partner. They go together, complimenting each other and working with each other for our benefit. Contentment is more like a motorway stop, where we pause, look back on where we’ve been and then prepare for the next part of the journey. And it’s part of the journey itself.
But what contentment isn’t, is satisfaction. Satisfaction is much more dangerous.
I’m not satisfied with my life. My desire is to keep growing in all areas – writing, faith, discipleship, relationships, work and others. To keep moving forward, raising the bar, pushing the boundaries, becoming more mature.
But every so often, I can stop to look at where I am. And no matter what happens along the journey, I can feel content – because I remember I am very blessed in so many ways, because I am growing, not stagnating. I have forward momentum. Because if I don’t have forward momentum to my life, then I am going backwards.
Stagnating.
Being complacent.
But if I’m moving forward, I can at once be at peace. Be content. Know I am blessed, rich in relationships, and moving forward. I don’t need to be anxious about the future. As I know whatever happens,
I am okay.
I’m not alone.
I’m growing.
And maybe, just maybe, I have moved closer to discovering the secret of contentment.
Do you agree with me or disagree with me?
Are you content or complacent? Do you believe they are different?
Do you have forward momentum to your life, and did you realise contentment can be part of that?
First, confusing contentment with complacency – that is an AWESOME line – I love it and it’s quite eye-opening. I am always looking to grow and trying to do a million things at once – I’m far from complacent, but I should really celebrate being more content. Great blog post James!
Thanks Elyse, really appreciate your comment & the encouragement. Only just had this insight myself, but it’s so so helpful. Thanks again!
So true. I took a sabbatical of sorts starting the new year. It was good for me. Great post.
Thanks Pilar, really appreciate your comment & the encouragement. Sabbaticals are great & so important. Thanks again.
An insightful post, James. Great thoughts here! I had never linked contentment with complacency as they seem very different. But I can see that too much contentment (however that may be judged – a very personal evaluation!) could give way to feeling smugly complacent and lead to stagnation. Having taken a sabbatical myself I can vouch for its benefit in giving us room to reflect and consider our lives differently. Yours certainly seems to have achieved just that. Really pleased to hear you are more at peace in yourself and able to see progress and growth without worrying about measurable tangible evidence.
Thanks for this comment Joy, it gives me great encouragement and confidence in what’s happening in my journey right now. I definitely do feel more at peace with myself without having to see evidence now, and to have you affirm that is really encouraging to me. Thanks for this Joy.
good words, mate! i had not really made the connection before that some may consider contentment as complacency. i’ve always strived for contentment but, as you succinctly state, that doesn’t mean i’m satisfied. i am at peace with where i am, but i still have places i want to go to.
be blessed, my friend!
Thanks mate – really glad the post spoke to you, and helped open your eyes a bit. Thanks for commenting & for the encouragement. Be blessed friend! 🙂
I love this. A very good friend once said “Do you know what true joy is? It’s contentment.” At the time I thought the same as you, that it was “settling” or complacency… but in time I realized it really is true joy — to be contented and perfectly satisfied… the essence of true joy. Great post!
That’s a great quote Lisa (or Ms!), glad the post resonated with you, it’s a real revelation when you realise contentment isn’t complacency – it was for me. Thanks for your encouragement and kind words, and for commenting, really appreciate it. 🙂
Ahhh to be content is to experience true happiness and bliss. Wonderful post!
Thanks Luann, really appreciate your kinds words – glad the post resonated with you. 🙂
A wonderful post, James. I have loved the quote from Paul for many years about being content whatever the circumstances. It is hard to grow when one is not content because your mind and soul are filled with discord.
Thanks Onisha, really appreciate your comment & encouragement – and totally agree, it’s hard to grow when you’re not content. Thanks again.
[…] Why Contentment & Growth are Partners, Not Enemies […]
[…] Why Contentment & Growth are Partners, Not Enemies […]
[…] Why Contentment & Growth are Partners, Not Enemies […]
I’ve wrestled with this. I think there is ebb and flow to our lives in that for some periods we are moving and shaking and looking for that next growth spurt and then, there are the times that we have to “just be” for awhile, meaning reflect, be present with what’s happening to you right now, don’t seek for anything more, just be quiet and spend time being grateful. In the quiet times, it’s as if we are in a tunnel and we can’t see which direction we are supposed to turn next. That’s because we are not supposed to. The tunnel period means, stop. Slow down. Observe. Breathe.
Very thought provoking post, James.
Shari 🙂
Wow, thanks Shari, that’s so encouraging to hear. Really glad this post resonates with you, and some great wisdom in your comments. Thanks for your ongoing encouragement Shari, you have no idea how much it means.
Thank you so much for writing this mate. I needed this badly. Thanks again.